it could be better . . . but worse is more likely

Wednesday, April 30, 2003

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PRESIDENT BUSH SIGNS AMBER ALERT BILL And nothing here, here, or here about Senator Biden's RAVE Act riding on AMBER Alert's back:

A revised version of last year's highly publicized Reducing Americans' Vulnerability to Ecstasy ( RAVE ) Act was approved on April 10 by both the Senate and the House of Representatives. Now dubbed the Illicit Drug Anti-Proliferation Act, Sen. Joe Biden ( D-Del. ) tacked it on as an amendment to the proposed National AMBER Alert Network Act of 2003, which deals with child abduction laws, not drug policies.

While the name of the act has changed, its principal remains the same: by definition any businessperson, club owner or promoter will be liable for patrons who are using and/or selling illicit drugs on their properties or at their events.

Unlike 2002's RAVE Act, the new legislation was not passed in Congress as a separate bill. It was part of legislation that was difficult to approve. Now President Bush is set to sign it into law sometime before Easter. [obviously, done today]
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The proposed legislation is not only limited to clubs. If approved, all property owners, including restaurateurs, landlords and even homeowners will be held liable for illegal drug activities occurring on their premises, even if they did not partake. The alliance argues that such actions are an infringement on personal freedoms.

Adam Miklas, owner of the East Side's Dragon Lounge, agrees.

"How can an owner be legally responsible for their patrons' actions in or out of their particular establishment?" Miklas asks. "Passing an act of this nature reflects lawmakers' willingness to compromise business owners' personal rights by piggy-backing it onto a truly legitimate bill, as with the AMBER Alert Network Act."

Personal responsibility remains an issue of hot debate.

"With this law, all responsibility is taken off of the person who is responsible for breaking the law and put onto the business owner-that's absurd," Vitucci says.

Click here to write a letter to John Ashcroft asking him not to abuse the law, if you can stomach the thought of actually having to do such a thing.
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posted by Matt 3:52 PM

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WE WENT TO WAR TO BOOST THE WHITE MALE EGO Lots of people are talking about Norman Mailer's latest offering in London's Times:

With their dominance in sport, at work and at home eroded, Bush thought white American men needed to know they were still good at something. That's where Iraq came in...

Yes, we are falling behind...where did all the successful white men go? Are white men even in positions of power anymore?

Obviously, that's just the beginning - check out the entire column for more.

Via Steve Silver.
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posted by Matt 1:05 PM

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SLUGGING Getting to work in big cities, faster and easier, with no government regulation of any kind:

This form of commuting — solo drivers picking up strangers so they can all cruise to work legally in high-occupancy-vehicle lanes — is called "slugging." Passengers are "slugs," a label alluding not to their energy or wit but to counterfeit tokens and coins. A ride, too, is a slug. Drivers are drivers, or less commonly, "body snatchers," "scrapers" and "land sharks." With little notice outside Washington, these Northern Virginia commuters to the nation's capital and big office sites of nearby Arlington, Rosslyn and Crystal City have blended hitchhiking and carpooling into a quick, efficient way to outmaneuver a traffic-choked freeway.

Slugging started by spontaneous eruption and runs by perpetual motion. When the area's three-person, high-occupancy vehicle lanes opened 30 years ago, some guy and then another and another picked up commuters at bus stops to get the passengers needed to use the lanes. No government agency sanctions slugging, runs it, regulates it, promotes it or thought it up. The Census Bureau, which tracks most forms of commuting, knows nothing about slugging.

In slugging, there is no supervisor, dispatcher or schedule, no ticket or fare. No think tank has analyzed it, although one slug, Lt. Col. David LeBlanc of the Army, has written a how-to book, "Slugging," which he published himself, and he operates one of two local slugging Web sites. But organized oversight stops there.

There are, however, rules.

Go check it out for the rules.

Via the Hit & Run.

UPDATE: More on slugging here.
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posted by Matt 12:52 PM

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MORFORD WATCH: FOLLOWING AMERICA'S WORST EMPLOYED WRITER It's time for some good ol' NRA-bashin'" in the Notes and Errata. No surprises here.

And it's with that sentiment I'd like to express some disappointment with dear Mr. Morford. Yes, I've grown to find his far left, misguided conservative bashing somewhat endearing, but also so bland and repetitive it's almost not worth noticing anymore. What happened to the incoherent Morford I once knew?

When I first discovered Morford, I was treated to "writing" like this:

Suddenly you hear that one of the adorably vacuous female finalists on that noxious "Joe Millionaire" reality show you swear you're not watching, even though your normally wicked-smart girlfriend is addicted to the damnable media beast and drags you into its black void of tepid giddy shrillness every week, you hear that blond finalist Sarah who claims she's 29 yeah right but is probably actually closer to 36 and who on the show is clearly all high maintenance and snotty and totally in it for the money and no one likes her blech blech yuck, well, it turns out she's a spanker.

and this:


And then out Shania strutted, all perfectly timed fireworks and perfect makeup and perfect cutesy head flips and perfect stiff hip flicks and a perfect toothy smile and perfectly catchy heavily synthesized completely lip-synched lyrics non-sung to perfectly pointless pop tunes. And the crowd went, shrug.

All lukewarm and hollow enough to make you cringe and recoil and sigh and wonder why it was again you were watching this bizarre overblown spectacle, this Super Bowl half-time extravaganza thing, oh yes, that's right, for the bizarre overblown spectacle, dear God please kill me now.

...and I thought, "I can't believe this person exists." It blew my mind that an adult human being could actually produce something so incoherent, and that someone would actually pay him to put it in their publication. What, I asked myself, had we done to deserve this surreal, wonderful bounty of foolishness? I was enamored with his absurdity.

The content hasn't changed, really; it's still left-wing bile. It's still poorly articulated. But I miss the little things: the run-ons, the incomprehensible, unpunctuated interjections, the nealry indescernible arguments. I can go anywhere for poorly-argued mush - I produce enough of that myself. But it takes someone special to raise low-grade commentary to an art form, to make it so unintentionally, hilariously bad, it's actually good.

So now I'm making an official plea to Mr. Morford, to return to the transcendental badness that once gave me such delight. Do not be content with mediocrity, Mark! Don't fall into the vast wasteland of bland redundancies. Use your talents for the grammatical and intellectual evil they're best suited. Do not settle for bad, when you can be unbelievably, spectacularly bad, beyond explanation. You've done it before; is it so much to ask to see it again?
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posted by Matt 12:40 PM

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WHAT'S THE STORY, MORNING GLORY? U.S. troops open fire for second straight day, suicide bombing in Tel-Aviv, Rumsfeld in Iraq, Amber Alert signing, NBA playoffs:

New York Times:
- U.S. Troops Fire on Iraqi Protesters Again; 2 Reported Dead ("'The evildoers are deliberately placing at risk the good civilians,' Colonel Green told The Associated Press. 'These are deliberate actions by the enemy to use the population as cover.'),
- Suicide Bomber Hits Tel Aviv; Top Palestinian Denounces Terror ("'A beautiful girl, one of the waitresses, I think she lost an arm,' he said.")
- U.S. Exit is No Sure Cure for Saudi Royals' Troubles ("...a restive population of young Saudis for whom there is little work, little wealth and no political participation is pressing relentlessly for change.")
- Beijing Acts to Calm Public, Saying Fight on SARS is Joined ( ("...Mr. Wang did not mince words today — a day when reported cases of severe acute respiratory syndrome in the capital climbed by yet another 101, to 1,440.")

Washington Post:
- Palestinians' New Premier Denounces Terrorism; Suicide Bomber Kills 3 at Tel-Aviv Nightclub ("But the challenges Abbas will face were underscored only about five hours after his speech, when a suicide bomber blew himself up in a popular nightclub next to the U.S. Embassy in Tel Aviv early today.")
- In 2nd Incident, U.S. Troops Fire on Iraqi Protestors ("'Iraq belongs to you,' he said in a message taped for radio and television broadcast. 'The coalition has no intention of owning or running Iraq.')
- Army Seizes Massive Filed on Iraq's Secret Prisoners ("Shouts of anger and groans rose from the crowd, as some surged forward to see the files before they were removed.")

USA Today:
- As war end, economy's footing will be tested ("'We thought after the war it would pick up, but so far it's been the same. With everyone being unsure, we're unsure, too.'")
- Price breaks set to lure travellers back to Toronto ("'The half-life of the perception is likely to be longer than the full life of the travel advisory," says Tim O'Neill, chief economist, BMO Financial Group. "The issue now is what people think.'")
- With families looking on, Bush to sign 'Amber Alerts' package of safety laws ("The legislation provides federal matching grants to states and communities for equipment and training to create a national network")

The Guardian:
- US troops 'shoot dead two more Iraqis' ("A local hospital official said two men had been killed in the incident, both in their late 20s and early 30s. At least eight people were being treated for wounds.")
- Rumsfeld: Iraq belongs to Iraqis ("'Let me be clear: Iraq belongs to you. We do not want to run it. Our coalition came to Iraq for a purpose - to remove a regime that oppressed your people and threatened ours.'")
- 'Saddam letter' calls for Iraqi resistance ("A hand-written letter supposedly signed by Saddam Hussein and urging the Iraqi people to resist coalition forces has been received by an Arabic newspaper based in London, it emerged today. ")

ESPN:
- Bryant Scores 32 points in Lakers' rout of Wolves ("'That's the team I recognize,' coach Phil Jackson said. 'Moving the ball and limiting turnovers. We wanted to be sure we struck first and were aggressive.'")
- Rose scores 27 points to lead Spurs to Game 5 win ("'It was really a clinic,' Robinson said of his team's execution in the first half. 'We moved the ball around, we went high-low. We went baseline. We had the size and we just started taking it.'")
- The Daily Quickie ("Eustachy Watch: His players might have come out yesterday in his support, but Larry Eustachy might be the first college-hoops coach mocked into unemployment. College administrators don't take 'laughingstock' all that well.")
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posted by Matt 8:38 AM

Tuesday, April 29, 2003

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WHERE IS MY NIRVANA? I've just finished the mostly wonderful book Them, by British journalist/ satirist/ documentary filmmaker Jon Ronson, and I find myself a little disappointed. Again.

Ronson spends the entire book with sometimes (unintentionally) hilarious, sometimes eery, sometimes surprisingly in-tune, always intriguing extremists from every point of the spectrum, bickering among themselves, working out conspiracy theories and hierarchies, and hunting down the one goal every wacko has in common: the top-secret Bilderbergs, a group of elite, evil gobalists and world leaders who meet every year in a secret room (never the same place twice) to play God and start wars and insert world leaders to do their bidding and possibly fulfill nefarious Zionist goals and/or Biblical prophecies. Once a year, the group also meets to perform a super-secret Satanic owl ritual in Northern California, possibly involving wild, lewd sexual rituals and/or human sacrifice. These people may or may not be 12-foot lizards, descendents of an extraterrestrial race of superior reptiles, which may or may not be a codeword for "Jew," which may or may not be a codeword for anyone in a position of power.

Ronson does a nice job subtly making fun of these nuts while also learning enough to make them seem not so, um, nutty. For a majority of the book, as strange as the conspiracy theorists obviously are, there's also a reasonable chance that there is an actual conspiracy, an actual Bilderberg Group that controls world affairs from behind closed doors.

And, as it turns out, there is. But it's not so secret. Ronson, with help from a local, walked right in to their owl ritual, which he described as, essentially, a weird frat party for CEOs looking to get away for a long weekend. Quite the anti-climax, and not in a good sense (not to mention the two dull, pointless, seemingly unrelated chapters preceding the conclusion).

Now, overall, Them is worth reading. But it still falls into a long, long line of promising books that ultimately fell short of really knocking my socks off. Maybe my standards are too high, but too many books wind up slipping away from me. There's always a wall. Occasionally, there might be a recovery to salvage a respectable finish, but that's an exception. And what about the initial drop-off? Many, many books are great to a point; I've yet to come across one that sustains it. I always find myself struggling to stay focused on finishing a certain chapter, or criticizing the muddy or improbable plot, or just losing interest. I'm always describing them: "Yeah, it was funny, it was good, but..." Something's always missing.

I love books, and I'm more than willing to accept "pretty good" as long as it entertains or informs. But is it too much to ask for a great book every now and then?
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posted by Matt 11:52 PM

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WE COULD ALL STAND TO LIGHTEN UP A LITTLE I've Got to Stop Taking Lives So Seriously.
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posted by Matt 6:22 PM

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MR. EXCITEMENT Oh, are the sports rounds having fun with Iowa State basketball coach Larry Eustachy after yesterday's news that Eustachy went out partying at a Missouri frat house after ISU lost at Missouri in January.

On the radio now, they're taking solicitations for new ads for Natural Light, Eustachy's apparent drink of choice during the night, um, in question. The best:

"Natural Light: You Can't Coach Great Taste," and

A co-ed hanging on Eustachy's arm: "Would you like to check my born-on date?"

Those both came from the same guy, who should be looking forward to a career in advertising.
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posted by Matt 3:49 PM

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ON THE PLUS SIDE, I SHOULD BE GETTING PLENTY OF HITS FOR SEARCHES FOR "COMIC BOOK SEX SLAVES" According to this, some characters from one of my favorite childhood cartoons have been turned into comic book sex slaves. What a shame.
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posted by Matt 2:09 PM

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MISSISSIPPI MUSIC I knew the Delta Blues wrote the book for rock 'n roll and modern American music, but before my Mississippi History class today, I didn't realize Mississippi also produced MTV founder Bob Pittman and Peavey Guitar founder Hartley Peavey. So not only did Mississippi give us the bluesmen who conjured up what became the rock 'n roll form that now dominates popular music worldwide and modern pop music's first and most enduring star (Elvis), but also gave us the founder of the most influential cultural outlet in America and one of its largest, most important guitar manufacturers. We didn't just put our fingerprints on contemporary American music, we invented it (I can say 'we,' right? My fellow statesmen would want me to join in their accomplishments).

The blues, and its influence on rock, is obviously Mississippi's most important contribution to the rest of the world, and we do so little to recognize it here. The least we could have done is put Elvis or the blues or "Birthplace of Rock 'n Roll" or something relating to it on our state quarter instead of a generic magnolia. People think nothing good comes out of Mississippi; let's give 'em at least one (very large) example.

This could have been a very long post, detailing all of Mississippi's major contributions in music and literature and sports and entertainment, but that would be very long and tedious, and might sound like we have some kind of inferiority complex (We do have some good aspects, oh please believe me!), and I'm not interested in that. And, presumably, neither are you. Instead, here is a pretty impressive list of some other famous Mississippians, with a few notable omissions (Morgan Freeman, John Grisham, Richard Johnson, Jimmy Rogers, George Ohr, Walter Anderson, just off the top of my head).
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posted by Matt 1:31 PM

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WHAT'S THE STORY, MORNING GLORY? A worst-case scenario: U.S. troops kill at least 13 protesters in Iraq, injure dozens more; plus terrorist cease-fire, SARS speculation, and frat-boy antics of Iowa State basketball coach:

New York Times: U.S. Troops Fire on Iraqi Protesters, Leaving 15 Dead ("'Our soldiers returned deliberately fired shots at people with weapons, and only at people with weapons.'"), American Forces Reach Cease-Fire With Terrorist Group ("The accord is apparently the first between the United States military — which in early April was bombing the group's Iraqi camps — and a terrorist organization, and it raises questions about how consistently the Bush administration intends to apply a policy that had vowed to crack down on terrorist groups worldwide.")

Washington Post: U.S. Soldiers Kill 13 at Iraq Protest Rally, Hospital Reports ("Falluja general hospital director Ahmed Ghanim al-Ali said 13 people had been killed and at least 75 wounded. Some local people gave higher estimates."), Iraqis Set Timetable to Take Power <"Instead, according to several of those present, they were united in their support for a democratic government that would respect human rights and allow religious freedom."), Shift in Housing Aid Proposed ("...a shift away from federal control, combined with an effort to find jobs and other means to wean low-income people from government help.")

USA Today: Normally thriving streets emptied by SARS fears ("Gesturing toward her canary-yellow tourist tram, guide Yu Na, 24, said with a shrug, 'It's usually full, but now it's empty.' Moments later, the vehicle pulled away with a lone passenger in one of its 40 seats."), U.S. fires on Iraqi protesters ("Residents said the shooting continued for at least 30 minutes."), U.S. likely to reject N. Korean offer for concessions ("A senior State Department official said the North Korean proposal was 'obviously not acceptable.'")

The Guardian: U.S. troops 'kill 13 Iraqi protesters' ("US central command in Qatar said troops had shot at armed Iraqis who had fired on the soldiers. Witnesses said that the demonstrators, who had been protesting at a local school, had not been armed. They said that the protest had been peaceful."), Asian leaders meet to discuss SARS <"The World Health Organisation believes the incidence of Sars has peaked in Hong Kong, Canada, Singapore and Vietnam, but fears the crisis is worsening in China.")

ESPN: Stars have little room for error ("Playoff hockey is a game of opportunities seized and opportunities lost, and the Ducks have seized all of their opportunities."), The Daily Quickie ("Iowa State hoops coach Larry Eustachy: Apologized yesterday to school president and AD for recently revealed frat-house party antics during season. Sorry for what he did -- or that he got caught?")
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posted by Matt 9:13 AM

Monday, April 28, 2003

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GOOGLING FOR THESE PICTURES... Hey, parents! Your student athlete will be in great hands with this guy:

Iowa State men's basketball coach Larry Eustachy told the school's president and athletic director he used "poor judgment" when he attended an after-hours party near the University of Missouri following a loss to the Tigers this season.

Photos of Eustachy at the late-January party, which were obtained by the Des Moines Register from a student at the party, were published Monday.

The 12 photographs show Eustachy with a beer in his hand, and in several photos, embracing and kissing women on the cheek or being kissed on the cheek.

Iowa State athletic director Bruce Van De Velde said Eustachy, 47, came to him and university president Gregory Geoffroy earlier this month after learning that a student at the Jan. 23 party provided photographs to the newspaper.

According to the newspaper's report, Eustachy went to the party at a student apartment with Missouri player Josh Kroenke hours after the Cyclones lost 64-59 to the Tigers in Columbia.
[...]
It reportedly was not Eustachy's first campus party after a road game, according to students in another Big 12 Conference town.

In January 2002, the coach was at an early-morning fraternity party in Manhattan, Kan., hours after his team lost a game to Kansas State, students told the Register. On that occasion, a fraternity member said he wound up in an argument with Eustachy because he found the coach's arm around his 19-year-old sister.

The woman told the newspaper that Eustachy walked into the house and complimented her on her appearance, saying that she should be attending the University of Kansas, where the girls are "much hotter."

And you wonder what happened to the Iowa State program that was so solid under Tim Floyd a few years ago?

I heard this story just now on a sports radio show, and a caller called in and said (approximately): "Hey, I don't think they should fire this guy. We had a coach at my college who would come out and party. It's not a big deal. Missouri's a good team; it's okay if he wants to go out and celebrate after a win over Missouri."

"No," the host said. "It was after a loss to Missouri."

"Oh, after a loss?"

"Yeah. They lost to Missouri."

"Oh," the caller said. "Well then fire that bitch."

I don't think they have a choice - would you send your kid to play for this guy?
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posted by Matt 5:02 PM

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CHEATING I was looking at my archives - the first time I've ever done so - and came across this post from last month. Since not enough people come around here to the know the difference (then why am I telling you this?), I thought I'd bring it back:

NAVEL GAZING ON A CHURCH MARQUEE A friend of mine and I have been mystified lately by the marquee in front of a small church across the street from my house. These church signs are notoriously cheesy and generally off-putting ("No Jesus, No Peace; Know Jesus, Know Peace," etc...who thought reducing their religion to a smarmy, condescending bumper sticker slogan was a good idea?), but rarely ambiguous or confusing. This one, however says this:

"Weapon of Mass Destruction: Prayer."

Is this church suggesting prayer is a bad thing? After some debate, we came up with a few possible meanings:

Prayer Destroys Evil The church could be trying to emphasize the positives of destruction by drawing attention to certain forces that need to be destroyed. The problem with this theory is that the sign doesn't intimate any such forces. 'Weapon of Mass Destruction,' left alone, with no indication of what exactly it is the weapon is meant to destroy, has universally negative connotations. We all instinctively think of destruction as a bad thing. Unless this church has an entirely different interpretation of 'destruction' than general society, and is unaware of the difference, it's seriously unlikely it would assume passersby would naturally relate 'Weapon of Mass Destruction' to any kind of positive effect.

People Too Often Pray for Ultimately Destructive Ends In my mind, this explanation seems most likely. God knows what people actually are praying for (no pun intended...okay, it was intended. Sorry.); perhaps the church feels too many of these prayers are destructive, even if unintentionally. Could the slogan-master be a subscriber to the zero sum-gain theory, which holds benefit for one always equals loss for another? If so, the sign could mean people who pray for their own benefit inadvertently cause destruction in some form to someone else. Or maybe the church believes people are just plain mean-spirited and are praying outright for destruction; Christian theology does not hold man's virtue in high esteem. Still, this theory seems like a reach, because every Christian association with prayer I've ever heard - and I've heard a lot - upholds the sanctity of prayer as a path to inner peace and moving closer to knowing God. Besides, God won't answer a prayer that defies his will, and if destruction is his will, then who are we to put up signs about it?

Muslims Pray for Destruction of America This is also a huge reach, despite the marquee's history of occasionally taking shots at Allah. Again, there's no reason to believe a Christian church would assume anyone (especially in Mississippi) would make the association between 'prayer' and Islam, much less conclude that Muslims pray for destruction. This is especially true if the church doesn't believe in Allah, and therefore doesn't believe a Muslim's prayers could actually be answered because he/she doesn't pray to the one true God. So, technically, it wouldn't even matter if Muslims were praying for destruction.

Prayer is Simply Destructive If an alien were to drop in and read the sign with no cultural indoctrination as to what the church or its marquee stood for, this would be the blatantly obvious explanation. 'Weapon of Mass Destruction: Prayer' Therefore, prayer is destructive. But we do know what the church and its marquee stand for, and unless these Baptists on Ocean Springs/ Vancleave Road have made a revelation the rest of the Christian world has missed entirely over the past 2,000 years, they certainly stand for prayer. So the obvious, literal explanation in this case can't be the right one, unless...

Some Kids Switched the Letters This has happened in the past, sometimes escaping the church's notice for long stretches. In these instances, however, the letters were only switched around or removed to make blasphemous slogans out of the original. For a slogan as long (and neatly arranged) as 'Weapon of Mass Destruction: Prayer' rearranging letters would be almost impossible (the Anagram Genius found no matches). The vandals would have to bring their own, which seems like more trouble than its worth even if they actually had a set of their own letters. Still, given the alternatives, this is as likely an explanation as any.
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posted by Matt 2:45 PM

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THE STREETS ARE THE NEW BAR How New Yorkers are responding to the city's smoking ban.

Via the Hit & Run.
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posted by Matt 1:37 PM

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BEHIND THE TIMES Good God, I don't have a clue. I don't even have the means to be an amateur anymore.
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posted by Matt 1:07 PM

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MMMMM, RAMEN... I've been really concerned with my diet lately. Here's my entire food intake for yesterday:

- Two cookies
- A can of Mountain Lightning (generic Wal-Mart brand ripoff of Mountain Dew and Mello Yello)
- A bag of popcorn
- A few potato chips
- An entire bag of chocolate Riesens (spread throughout the day)
- Six Airheads
- Small cup of coffee

That's right, two large quantities of candy, nothing of substance. And the more I think about it, the more I realize that I don't eat any real food at all anymore (unless you count peanut butter sandwiches, fast food, or Chef-Boyardee...I didn't think you would). Maybe an occasional banana or apple. I've lost weight without exercising, which is good, but I'm afraid of scurvy or rickets or something. It's pretty pathetic.

The lesson? Don't trust your poor college kids to buy decent food on their own. I know better, and still I take the cheap way out. Thank God the semester's ending and I can go home to some real food in a week or two.
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posted by Matt 9:46 AM

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WHAT'S THE STORY, MORNING GLORY? The future of Iraq, SARS peaking?, and the summer's first no-hitter:

New York Times: U.S. Will Move Air Operations to Qatar ("A formal decision about whether to make this arrangement permanent has yet to be made..."), Iraqis Arrest would-be Leader of Iraq's Capital ("By arresting Mr. Zobeidi, the United States sought to send a message that it would not tolerate challenges to its authority in Iraq. But Mr. Zobeidi was the least threatening of several figures claiming authority in the country, most notably the Shiite clerics who have taken over administration of large swaths of Baghdad and other Iraqi cities."), Iraqi Delegates Gather for Gv't Talks ("'We hope we can form a unified government, one that reflects the entire spectrum of Iraq...'"), Cutbacks Imperil Health Coverage for States' Poor ("Many state officials are pleading for federal help as they face an array of painful trade-offs, often pitting the needs of impoverished elderly people for prescription drugs and long-term care against those of low-income families seeking basic health coverage.")

Washington Post: Iraqis Discuss Political Future With Garner ("'Today on the birthday of Saddam Hussein let us start the democratic process for the children of Iraq...'"), Rumsfeld Begins a Tour of Gulf ("'The Iraqis alone are entitled to handle the reconstruction of their country, and the international community, through its organizations and institutions, is the principal authority to guarantee the success of the efforts by the Iraqis to rebuild their state.'"), Iraqis Wonder if the Party's Over ("Three weeks after the capital fell, many Iraqis still keep Hussein's photograph tucked away, as a kind of insurance in case he should ever reappear.")

USA Today: Aziz Says Saddam Survived Airstrikes Mounted to Kill Him ("Almost three weeks after the fall of Baghdad, the Bush administration's public stance is nonchalant: Saddam will turn up, either alive, in some Iraqi version of the Alamo, or dead under a pile of rubble."), WHO:Worst of SARS Outbreak Over For Some ("Hong Kong, Singapore, and Toronto are having fewer cases every day and Vietnam has reported no new SARS victims, the WHO said.")

The Guardian: New Talks on Future Iraqi Government ("Mr Garner, who yesterday assured Iraqis that US forces would leave their country as soon as possible, plans to oversee the immediate reconstruction of Iraq and then hand over to an interim government before a democratic election."), Al-Qaida Links Still Dubious ("We are aware of fleeting contacts [between Baghdad and al-Qaida] in the past, but there were were no long-term official contacts,' a well-placed source told the Guardian yesterday. 'The documents do not take things further forward'"), WHO: SARS Peaks in Hong Kong and Canada ("'Vietnam has been able to show the world that there is hope that Sars can be contained.'")

ESPN: Even Braves Get Pumped For Millwood ("'It was one of those special days, and I don't plan on doing it every time out, but it was a lot of fun,'' Millwood said."), The Daily Quickie ("One thrilling playoff hockey game goes 5 OTs, and the airwaves were full of outcry for OT reform from hockey haters. Meanwhile: Yesterday's Cards-Marlins meaningless regular-season game goes 20 innings, but you won't hear anyone pushing for 'extra-inning reform' in baseball.")
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posted by Matt 9:28 AM

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HOPE THEY FOUND WHAT THEY WERE LOOKING FOR Some poor soul came my way by way of a search for "Plumbing employment in rebuilding Iraq." Maybe he's looking for a job. And, as always, I wonder what I ever wrote to bring him here. Good luck, pal.
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posted by Matt 12:45 AM

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VICTORY Bill Whittle, with some thoughts on an old argument, and the only way America can lose it:

Despite the reams and rolls of evidence, there remains a committed, fanatical cadre of people who find the idea of a Benevolent State so compelling, so seductive, that they refuse to give it up in the face of any mountain of evidence to the contrary. They point to halfway states like Sweden, which, on the face of things, seem halfway awful by many standards. A lower GDP than Alabama or Mississippi – the poorest states in the opposing camp. But this isn’t just about filthy lucre. The culture produces what? Abba, and Volvo. Loved the first, not a fan of the second. There is little invention, almost no outstanding contributions to science, technology, music or the arts -- although Bergman was terrific. It is a safe, decent place where everything is taken care of. It reminds me, in fact, of a very large retirement home.

This is exactly what many people want the world to become: a retirement home. Run by? Guess who! And they are doing everything in their power to see that it happens.
[...]
Because our theory of people works so much better than those who oppose us, America can afford to be unconquerable by force of arms. With many, many millions of well-armed and deeply patriotic citizens, it is essentially unbeatable even without a Defense Department. America’s strength is broad and it is very, very deep.

You have one chance to defeat America today. You must shut down her reactor. You must kill the confidence, lie about the history, slander the Founders, undermine the morality, question the decency, mock the very ideas of self-sufficiency and self-defense, banish self-determination as a goal for individuals and the nation, destroy the intricate and delicately made checks and balances that inhibit state power, divide the people among racial and economic lines, and under no circumstances allow America be seen to actually do what it claims to do: be a force for liberation, creativity, prosperity and freedom to all people, everywhere.

America’s strength must be must be seen as that of a greedy, blinded giant, a drunken bully stealing from the world. It must be endlessly, constantly described as Imperial, consigning it in a single word to a long line of repression and historical failure. Forget that we rule no other countries, forget we pay billions for our presence, rather than stealing billions at the point of a bayonet. Forget that we have paid for every single drop of oil we have ever burned, when we could in fact have easily done what we are accused of: stolen it at gunpoint. We do not, and did not, and will not – and they know it. We are, in fact, the anti-Empire. We have bucked history in every fundamental way. Wherever we sail is uncharted territory. No nation in history has done what we have done, and continue to do.

That is not allowed. People might go for something like that. Imperialists. Bullies. Baby Killers. Infidels. Colonialists.

Read it all for a history lesson and some more far-reaching perspective on our victory in Iraq.

And, in the name of fairness, go here for a different perspective.
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posted by Matt 12:00 AM

Sunday, April 27, 2003

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ZERO PRODUCTION What a nice, lazy Sunday. Lots of reading and music, and a little TV. I don't regret it.
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posted by Matt 11:17 PM

Saturday, April 26, 2003

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THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING After all this time, they say they've found the Iraq-al Qaeda link:

LONDON (AP) -- Documents discovered in the bombed out headquarters of Iraq's intelligence service provide evidence of a direct link between Saddam Hussein's regime and Osama bin Laden's al Qaeda terrorist network, a newspaper reported Sunday.

Papers found Saturday by journalists working for the Sunday Telegraph reveal that an al Qaeda envoy met with officials in Baghdad in March 1998, the newspaper reported.

The paper quoted an unidentified Western intelligence official as saying the find was "sensational."

The paper said the documents show that the purpose of the meeting was to establish a relationship between Baghdad and al Qaeda based on their mutual hatred of the United States and Saudi Arabia.

The meeting went so well that it was extended by a week and ended with arrangements being discussed for bin Laden to visit Baghdad, the newspaper said.

Journalists found a three-page file on bin Laden inside a folder lying in the rubble of one of the rooms of the intelligence headquarters, the paper said.

"Iraqi agents at some point clumsily attempted to mask out all references to bin Laden, using white correcting fluid," the newspaper reported. "After carefully removing the dried fluid, however, the name is clearly legible three times in the documents."

One of the pages, dated February 19, was marked "top secret and urgent" and referred to plans for the trip from Sudan of the unnamed envoy, who is described in the file as a trusted confidant of bin Laden's, the paper said.

A link to 9-11! Talk about a huge development.

I never ruled out the connection, but never fell for it either - as I've said before, it was always Bush's weakest justification for war. Looks like they were right. Let's see what comes of this news and what it means for Bush's credibility. And if there's anything left of the vocal anti-war crowd, I'd like to see what it means to them.
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posted by Matt 11:49 PM

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A STAR IS BORN? Jerome Moiso stepped up big on both ends tonight with All-Star Jamal Mashburn out to help the Hornets whip Philly and cut the Sixers' series lead to 2-1. Very sweet win - Mashburn out, Baron Davis hobbled, David Wesley gone cold, and the team still comes up with by far its best performance of the series, with big help from Moiso, Jamaal Magloire and P.J. Brown.

It was also the first NBA playoff win for the city of New Orleans in decades. Hell, for all I know, maybe the first one ever; the Jazz weren't very good way back when. Either way, the Hornets need another one Monday night to even the series.
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posted by Matt 9:28 PM

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TEAR UP YOUR MOCK DRAFT: IT'S CHAOS! This is the weirdest, most fast-paced draft I've ever seen. The first five picks went straight along all the mock draft lines, boom boom boom, then the beloved Saints threw the first curveball by trading up to No. 6 with Arizona to take Johnathan Sullivan, which filled their need at DT but cost them their two first-rounders at 17 and 18.

Then all hell broke loose. Minnesota just let the clock run out on their pick, and everybody's shouting "What? They passed?!" as the usual eight or ten minutes between picks turned into seconds when Jacksonville and Carolina rushed up to take their guys before Minnesota could get back in. Nobody can figure out what's up with the Vikings. Baltimore was on its way when Minnesota jumped back in to get Kevin Williams, who they apparently wanted all along, and Baltimore and Seattle followed up within seconds. Five picks, which would usually take around half an hour or more, within two minutes.

Now, Minnesota Coach Mike Tice says the Vikes were trying to trade down with Baltimore, where they figured they could still pick up their guy and a few extra picks, and the card didn't get turned in in time. Whatever. Everybody wound up with the player they wanted.

Now, to the Saints. I would have been thrilled if Sullivan had managed to slip to 17 or 18, because DT was probably the biggest need on the team. But with four or five really good tackles available, and only one off the board early, giving up those two picks to move up and take Sullivan at six, when he was projected at 13 or 14, seems like a reach. If it had been Jimmy Kennedy or William Joseph, or even Kevin Williams - all of whom were rated higher than Sullivan pre-draft - it would have made more sense. Obviously, the team loves Sullivan enough to give up two picks a little later on and pass up other highly-rated guys at the same position to get him. Hope they're right. It fills a major need, anyway. Now, let's see if they go linebacker or safety in the next round.

By the way, I'm going to be singing that EA Sports commercial for the next week. "I'm - Charles - Rogers...I had 68 catches and 13 touch - downs...I'm - Charles - Rogers..."
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posted by Matt 12:31 PM

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"THIS GIRL COULD SINGLEHANDEDLY MAKE BOSOMS A THING OF THE PAST" A post on small breasts has turned into an all-out Audrey Hepburn love-fest in the comments section over at The Bitch Girls. Check in with how much you love Audrey - and if you don't love her, see a doctor, then head to your local video store and look again.
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posted by Matt 12:43 AM

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A VOLUNTARY DISEASE Jacob Sollum, fulfilling my daily Hit & Run link, on the idea of alcoholism as a disease:

...biological reductionists continue to look for evidence that "addiction is a brain disease," as Alan Leshner, former director of the National Institute on Drug Abuse, put it. According to the NCADD, "NIDA found that there may be a core biochemical change that takes place in any addiction and has to do with the neurotransmitter dopamine and the nucleus accumbens."

Or there may not be. And if there is, how would it in any way disprove the fact that so many addicts manage to moderate or give up their habits, showing that they are ultimately in control of their behavior?

It becomes clear that even the folks at the NCADD do not believe addiction is a physical compulsion, akin to an epileptic fit, that addicts are powerless to resist. "Clearly," they say, "there is a volitional component to alcoholism and drug addiction." They just don't think anyone should talk about it.

Well put.

Also from reason today, Nick Gillespie says everyone should stop complaining - the Dixie Chicks aren't doing so bad.
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posted by Matt 12:05 AM

Friday, April 25, 2003

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SPORTS BLOG ON THE WAY I've decided to launch the sports blog sometime this summer, starting with college football picks. I should have it together and up before I head to London in July. Be on the lookout, and feel free to offer any tips on any other features I should consider including.
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posted by Matt 11:35 PM

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OH, THE HUMIDITY I think today marks the breaking of the Spring/Summer threshhold in Mississippi; the horrible heat is here to stay until October.
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posted by Matt 1:40 PM

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MORFORD WATCH: FOLLOWING AMERICA'S WORST EMPLOYED COLUMNIST Today Mark wastes space putting the generic "Morford Morph" of conservatism into the mouth of Sen. Rick Santorum. We all expected as much.

While we're on Santorum, who I haven't mentioned here at all because I don't particularly care either way, it's worth saying up front that anything a politician - especially a conservative politician - says about a controversial issue (like homosexuality, or race, or religion) that's not "I love these people and want to give them more money and legal protection" is going to be met with outrage. So it was a stupid comment right off on that level.

But it seems to me, and I'm not the only one, that Santorum was raising a legal argument at least as much he was criticizing homosexuality. I don't know the context he was speaking in, but let's take his exact words:

"If the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual (gay) sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything."

Yeah? So? I would think homosexuals would be less upset about this than incestuous couples and adulterers would be happy. Here's a senator talking about their legal rights! Incest and adultery have hit the big time, baby.

It seems homosexuals aren't too thrilled to be compared to incestuous couples and adulterers, but this isn't the point. The point is - and homosexuality is legal and tolerated on this point, because many, many people who believe in gay rights nonetheless still think homosexuality is wrong - that sex between consentual adults is no business of the government, no matter who those adults are. If this right is extended to homosexual couples, why not incestuous couples? Yeah, I think it's disgusting too, but honestly, homosexuality isn't up my alley (no pun intended...okay, it was) either. I'll tolerate it and defend your right to it as a consentual adult; why should we treat incest any differently? As long we're talking laws and not morals, it's hard to justify allowing one and not the other.
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posted by Matt 10:53 AM

Thursday, April 24, 2003

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QUICK BREAK Blogging has been light today while I scurry to finish a) my journalism story (College Students Face Stress in Summer Job Search), haphazardly thrown together in an hour or so, with half the story coming from a cut and paste from an internet "expert" on such matters, and b) the journal critiques for psychology, which I've had all semester to complete but have not started on until this week. They're due tomorrow morning; luckily the computer lab stays open late tonight, and I can skip my first class to finish typing the last one. The last one I'm going to do, anyway (it still leaves me one short of what I need, but what the hell? I've got extra credit). So if I miss "What's the Story, Morning Glory?" you'll know where I am. I'm sure you'll miss it.

Now it's back to the grind.
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posted by Matt 11:29 PM

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YOU MAY SAY YOU HATE IT, BUT YOU LOVE IT For anyone who's ever noticed this link to the right, the short clip it leads to has won first prize in FreedomAds' contest for the best creative "ad" to "encourage people to think about and discuss freedom."

I love this piece (directed, edited, and written by former reason intern Rhys Southan), obviously for the sarcastic, disrespectful way it promotes capitalism, but particularly for the scene of our anti-capitalist friend fawning over Chomsky at a local bookstore. It's a beautiful thing.

Unfortunately, I've never been able to hear the sound on the ad; the speakers on my PC are lousy and fuzz it up, and the only other access I've had in is public labs, where sound is taboo. If any of you want to tell me what it sounds like, or what it says, hit the 'shout out' button below. You know you want to.

Via the Hit & Run, which is understandably proud of their boy.
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posted by Matt 2:01 PM

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SCHOOL SHOOTING Who's not getting sick of news like this?

RED LION, Pa. (AP) — A student shot and critically wounded a principal at a junior high school Thursday morning and then killed himself, officials said.

Ugh. My dad's a high school principal - and a good one, in a small town - and I'm not a paranoid zero-tolerance type, but these hormonal nuts taking it out on the nearest authority figure scares me sometimes.

This case is even weirder:

The same school district was the site of a machete attack on a kindergarten class that injured a principal, two teachers and 11 of the 23 pupils in 2001. A Tennessee man angry about his divorce and allegations he had molested his stepdaughters pleaded guilty to the attack and was sentenced to 132 to 264 years in prison.

Maybe it's time for Red Lion residents to consider private schools.
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posted by Matt 9:11 AM

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WHAT'S THE STORY, MORNING GLORY? SARS still on the rise, Shiites growin impatient, doubt over Peterson conviction, the end of the world, A.I. rips Hornets (again):

New York Times: Beijing Closes Major Hospital Amid SARS Scare ("Worldwide, the death toll has passed 260, with more than 4,300 cases of infection reported."), Suicide Blast in Israeli Town Kills One ("A Palestinian suicide bomber made an attack early today outside an Israeli train station, killing himself and another person and injuring at least 13 others, the police said."), U.S. Warns Iraqis Against Claiming Authority in Void ("But American troops are still being killed and wounded as they try to make Iraq safer and as political factions and clerics rush to fill the void of authority.")

Washington Post: Iraqi Shiites Grow Uneasy Over U.S. Occupation ("'The people are stronger than tyrants,' one of their banners read."), Beijing Closes Major Hospital as SARS Fears Grow ("'I believe it has been underestimated. I would hope that the figure would stay as low as possible, but a conservative estimate would be at least 10 percent.'"), Bush Eager to Preserve Bulk of Tax Cut Package ("Another well-placed official said the philosophy is 'to mobilize the most important pressure group Congress has: all of America.'")

USA Today: Peterson Case Is Not Sealed Tight ("'I don't think what is known necessarily would be enough to prove 'beyond a reasonable doubt' he did it. They say they have a strong case. Well, maybe they do, maybe they don't.'"), World Health Experts Treat SARS As If It's The Big One ("'It would be foolish not to think that this is going to be a serious threat...'"), N. Korea Talks Tough as 2nd Day of Talks Begin ("'The situation on the Korean Peninsula is so tense that a war may break out any moment due to the U.S. moves,' the North's KCNA news agency...It said relations with the United States had hit "rock bottom" because President Bush named North Korea as part of an 'axis of evil,' along with Iran and Iraq.")

The Guardian: U.K. Could Not Cope With SARS Outbreak, Warns Public Health Boss ("'I don't know what the root cause of Sars is, but it is our vulnerability to these infections which is the biggest issue.'"), The End of the World As We Know It (Maybe) ("'What I am saying is that a weirdo, someone with a mindset that could now make a computer virus, may one day be able to create a genetically modified real virus, which could cause thousands of fatalities.'")

ESPN: Thomas, 76ers Frontcourt Dominate Hornets ("'We knew we had to contribute more,' Van Horn said. 'We knew they would focus more on Allen, and we had to contribute.'"), The Daily Quickie ("The Lesson: Love those inflated individual scoring nights as theater, but productive second and third options (see Hudson, Troy) bring Ws.")
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posted by Matt 9:07 AM

Wednesday, April 23, 2003

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EARTH DAY FOOTPRINT QUIZ If everyone on Earth lived like me, we would need 4.7 planets to sustain us.

Via Juan Gato, who's got a new look.

UPDATE: James Lileks has a few issues with the quiz. You mean environmentalists would deceive people just to advance their agenda? Say what?
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posted by Matt 1:56 PM

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OH, PETA, DON'T EVER CHANGE This is the kind of thing PETA should focus on more, if only to entertain the rest of us:

A national animal rights group has offered Hamburg officials $15,000 to change the town's name to Veggieburg.

"The town's name conjures up visions of unhealthy patties of ground-up dead cows," said Joe Haptas, spokesman of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, or PETA, in a letter faxed Monday to Hamburg Supervisor Patrick Hoak.

PETA offered to supply area schools with $15,000 worth of non-meat patties for the name change.

"Our offer is serious as a heart attack," Haptas said.

Hoak immediately declined.

Via the Kitchen Cabinet.
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posted by Matt 1:46 PM

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IT COULD BE BETTER... SITS DOWN WITH: Jerry Seinfeld

A consumate stand-up professional, Jerry Seinfeld had received some recognition on the New York club scene and from stints on The Tonight Show throughout the 1980s, but it was his unlikely sitcom, famously dubbed "a show about nothing", that vaulted the neurotic Manhatten everyman onto the throne of show business royalty and turned his obscure, Jewish moniker into one of the planet's most famous.

Since the end of the wildly popular and influential Seinfeld in 1999, Seinfeld has made scattered ventures into the public eye with appearances on talk shows and commercials, as well as with the release of I'm Telling You For the Last Time, a live concert album featuring some of his classic bits, Comedian, a documentary following the famous jokester as he attempts to build a new act from scratch, and Jerry Seinfeld's Halloween, a children's book based on part of his routine. Seinfeld made plenty of headlines in the tabloids as well, carrying on a controversial relationship that resulted in marriage in 2000 and becoming a father the following year.

Seinfeld recently sat down with it could be better... to discuss his career, his family, the price of fame, and his latest work.

ICBB: So, how's married life treating you?

JS: It's different. I was a single guy for a long time. There were no other guys attached to me. I was 'best man' at a wedding once, which I never understood. If I'm the best man, why is she marrying him? You always have to wear tuxedoes at weddings, which is a clothing style invented by women. "They're all alike, so we might as well dress them alike." That's why the wedding is the joining of a beautiful, glowing bride, and some guy. The tuxedo also serves as a safety device, if the groom chickens out, everybody takes one step over and she marries the next guy.

ICBB: Right. You were on the road recently, filming the movie -

JS: When you're on the road, you don't know what to do, so you do what people tell you to do. I was in Pittsburgh, and they said 'Go to the horse track.' This is idiotic. I think it's fun, but I could never guess which horse was going to win. I don't even think they know they're racing. Are they going back to the stable, "I finished first, you finished third, you cut me off, watch that..."

ICBB: Yes. Ha. So your book -

JS: I think they're thinking [singing] "Oat bag. I get my oat bag now. Oat bag time for me..."

ICBB: That's very good. Now, you recently published this book based on -

JS: Tell you what I like about Chinese people.

ICBB: What?

JS: While we're on the subject.

ICBB: We're not on the -

JS: They're hanging in there with the chopsticks.

ICBB: Um, yeah. So your book -

JS: Still using chopsticks after all these years. You know they've seen the fork...

ICBB: Right, of course, they're well aware of the fork. If we could go back to the TV show for a minute...

JS: The problem with TV is that everyone on TV is doing something better than you are. Like these people on the soda commercials. Have you seen these people? Laughing, jumping around, riding jet skis, spiking volleyballs. "We have soda! We have soda! We have soda!" You're on the couch -

ICBB: Maybe I'm putting too much ice in mine, I know, we've all heard it. You received a lot of attention when you and your wife had the baby -

JS: Being a baby is hard, because you don't know you're going to grow.

ICBB: Jesus Christ.

JS: You think, "Well, this is it. Bald, no teeth, bad plumbing. Where am I going to find a tie three inches long?"

ICBB: Are you some kind of robot? A literal joke machine?

JS: I'd like to be my phone machine, so if I saw someone I didn't want to talk to, I could just say, "I'm sorry..."

ICBB: Okay, that's it. I'm going to slit your throat.

JS: Oooh, good knife. Did you get that at a hoffritz? Every mall has a hoffritz in it, and they put like a 16-year-old girl behind the counter, with people coming in all day going, "I need knives, I need big knives, I need bigger, sharper knives, I need -" ack! [gurgling sounds]

Jerry Seinfeld's unauthorized biography, Seinfeld: The Making of an Icon is available in bookstores everywhere.
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posted by Matt 12:48 PM

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MORFORD WATCH: FOLLOWING AMERICA'S WORST EMPLOYED WRITER Mark stays away from politics and war for the first time in months today, and damn if I don't agree with his indictment of plastic surgery:

The idea now is no longer simply to perk up the human form, augment and enhance and maybe add another layer of lusciousness to what nature provided. Would that it were so elegant.

Nope, the current mad rush to plastic surgery and in-home biotoxin is all about mutating and stripping away and wiping out most vestiges of authentic self and replacing it with this bizarre ultra-smooth facsimile of identity, all while simply ignoring the concept of genuine health altogether.

There are no admonishments from either the cosmetic practitioners or body fanatics about, say, maybe eating healthier and exercising and cutting out refined sugars or dairy or wheat or processed garbage foods or the two packs of Camel menthols or the four cups of coffee or the absurd obsession with looking like the ridiculously airbrushed cover model on "Mademoiselle."

Not the most lucid argument (especially considering his idea of "genuine health" - read to the bottom), but you get the idea. For those of us not living in major cities, the "enhancement" craze is still somewhat foreign, but I don't expect that to last too much longer; we always catch on eventually. See you in hell.
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posted by Matt 11:52 AM

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WHAT'S THE STORY, MORNING GLORY? SARS closes schools, Iran makes moves in Southern Iraq, scientists admit to destroying bacteria, Wild shock Avalanche:

New York Times: As Baghdad Awaits Aid, Feeling Grows Against U.S. ("The religious rivals are united on one point: their opposition to American influence in Iraqi affairs."), Iran is Said to Send Agents Into Southern Iraq ("Known as the Badr Brigade, the militia is the armed force of the Supreme Council for Islamic Revolution in Iraq, a Shiite group with headquarters in Tehran."), Beijing Closes Schools and Posts Another Sharp Rise in SARS ("The suspension of classes was the strongest action yet against the new disease by a city that only days ago admitted it had concealed a spreading epidemic and is now struggling to contain it, with public fears on the rise.")

Washington Post: China Closes Beijing Schools, WHO Issues New Advisory ("'These areas now have quite a high magnitude of disease, a great risk of transmission locally — outside of the usual health workers — and also they've been exporting cases to other countries,' Heymann said."), U.S. Planners Surprised by Iraqi Shiites' Strength ("'It is a complex equation, and the U.S. government is ill-equipped to figure out how this is going to shake out,' a State Department official said. 'I don't think anyone took a step backward and asked, 'What are we looking for?' The focus was on the overthrow of Saddam Hussein.'")

USA Today: Iraqi Scientists Admit to Destroying Bacteria ("'The order was to hide anything that might make the inspectors suspicious. Any bacterium, any fungus. I destroyed seven petri dishes in the autoclave and I put the others in the trunk of my car.'"), SARS Leads to Travel Warnings, China Closes Beijing Schools ("China's school closure, which begins Thursday, will leave almost 2 million students to study at home following a major jump in the number of reported SARS cases in the city."), Talks With N. Korea Begin ("U.S. officials have said they want a 'verifiable, irreversible end to North Korea's nuclear program,' while the North's leaders have accused Washington of planning to target them after Iraq.")

ESPN: Fernandez Stops 43 Shots as Wild Advance ("Several Wild players said before the series that they would be happy with just one victory against the two-time Stanley Cup champions. Minnesota coach Jacques Lemaire even said after Game 4 that his team had no shot at winning the series."), The Daily Quickie ("Jennie Finch:
MLB bringing in Finch to contribute to 'This Week in Baseball.' As late TWIB host Mel Allen might say: 'HOW a-bout THAT?'")
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posted by Matt 9:33 AM

Tuesday, April 22, 2003

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WHAT ZERO-TOLERANCE MEANS This is a good policy?

Her 13-year-old son, Burns Middle School sixth-grader Cortez Curtis, is serving a 10- day suspension for taking his mother's calculator to school. Hidden within the James Bond-esque calculator are tools such as a screwdriver, a magnifying glass and - the contraband that led to his suspension and arrest on felony weapons possession - a 2- inch knife blade.

Curtis was not brandishing the weapon or threatening a classmate.

``That would be something totally different,'' Saffold said, acknowledging those would be legitimate grounds for discipline.

But she said the punishment is too severe for just taking the calculator to school Friday.

``He didn't do anything wrong,'' Saffold said. ``He didn't threaten anybody.''

District policy is clear: Weapons are weapons. Whether butter knife or machete, 2 inches or 2 feet, policy dictates an automatic 10-day suspension. Curtis also might be permanently banished from Burns, as the policy also suggests placement in an alternative school or possible expulsion.

``That's what zero-tolerance means,'' said district spokesman Mark Hart.

Via the Daily Brickbat.
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posted by Matt 2:07 PM

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CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR... Jesse Walker, on the state of deomocratic debate:

The good news: Rambunctious, democratic debate is alive and well in 21st-century America. The bad news: This is what rambunctious, democratic debate looks like. You probably thought it was something thoughtful and elegant—bewigged gentlemen speaking rationally and with mutual respect, never straying from the most important issues. Instead, it's scattershot rallies and deranged boycotts and municipal resolutions that pose more legal questions than they answer. And it's still better than all the alternatives.

Also in reason, the Hit & Run links to this letter from James Traficant, and Ronald Bailey covers some environmental news worth celebrating on Earth Day:

Using uncontroversial data from agencies like the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) and the California Air Resources Board, Schwartz shows that air pollution news has been good across the board for decades now. Since the mid-1960s the best available measurements show that sulfur dioxide levels have fallen by more than 80 percent, carbon monoxide levels are down more than 75 percent, nitrogen dioxide levels dropped over 40 percent, ozone levels decreased nearly 50 percent, and the level of total particulates (smoke, soot, dust) is down by more than 60 percent.

In the 1980s, the EPA also started measuring smaller particles in the air, which are believed to have graver health consequences than some of those older pollution markers. Levels of those tiny terrors have declined nearly 30 percent. By almost any standard, air quality greatly improved between 1970 and 2000, even as U.S. population grew by 39 percent, energy use increased by 42 percent, total vehicle miles driven jumped by 143 percent, and gross domestic product soared by 149 percent.

There is no connection any longer between increased population, industrial production, energy consumption, or car use and increased air pollution. The already low air pollution levels in the United States will inevitably drop much further over the next two decades. As Schwartz explains, "most future pollution reductions will come from things we have already done." New technologies and regulations already put in place will continue to clear our air.

New cars already pollute far less than older cars, so as older cars are replaced by cleaner new cars, the air will continue to clear. "Almost all pollution from gasoline powered vehicles will disappear over the next 20 years," Schwartz declares. Simply by implementing the standards now on the books and through the normal process of automobile fleet turnover, total average emissions from all autos will decline by at least another 85 percent over the next two decades. While most of the improvements in air quality are the result of regulations, Schwartz notes that even when enforced air quality standards did not change between 1982 and 1992, the amount of pollutants emitted by automobiles continued to decline each year, probably as a result of improved air and fuel mixing technologies in newer cars.

Does that mean our children will likely inhabit a cleaner Earth? Huh. They don't even hint at that in school.
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posted by Matt 1:53 PM

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YE GODS Gregg Easterbrook makes a rare offseason appearance as Tuesday Morning Quarterback, with his annual "Mocking the Mock Draft" column, which pulled me into his realm last year. The first pick? An obvious choice:

1. Cincinnati Bengals. PFC. JESSICA LYNCH, 507th Ordnance Maintenance Company. If the sculpted, testosterone-pumped Bengals displayed half the heart and courage of this 130-pound woman, Cincinnati would be a Super Bowl lock.

Other draft-day surprises:

6. Arizona (CAUTION: MAY CONTAIN FOOTBALL-LIKE SUBSTANCE) Cardinals. HANS BLIX, United Nations Monitoring, Verification and Inspection Commission. Since the Cards are perennially dead-last in NFL attendance, if Blix and his inspectors fanned out across Sun Devil Stadium, perhaps they could discover a paying customer. Note: in the second round of the draft, Arizona hopes to tab Blix's seeing-eye dog.,

10. Baltimore Ravens. A VOLUNTEER FROM THE AUDIENCE, quarterback. In just four years of coaching the Ravens, insult-spewing Brian Billick -- who now takes over from the cashiered Coughlin as the league's worst-sport coach -- has rolled out eight different starting quarterbacks, while cutting the one who won the Super Bowl! Yea, verily, the football gods doth wince.

And the beloved Saints? They trade away both of their first-rounders to basketball teams. We need a new GM.

As for this Draft Madness, I've caught it - again. I even entered a mock draft in ESPN's draft game. Stupid, yes, since only one or two players per team typically make an impact, and that impact may be later rather than sooner, but also fun. Anything for that mid-offseason football fix.

The Saints, by the way, with two first-round picks for the second straight year, would be wise to go defensive tackle, strong safety and linebacker, not necessarily in that order. Wouldn't mind seeing them trade up, although they've already traded away three lower-round picks. Ah hell, it's a crapshoot, anyway.

Since I've been writing so much about sports lately, and it'll only get worse (better?) as the football season approaches, I've been considering launching a spin-off sports blog. Any thoughts? Do exclusively sports blogs exist already? I think this needs to happen.
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posted by Matt 12:30 PM

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WHAT'S THE STORY, MORNING GLORY? Raucous Karbala, re-election plans, the Shiite Thug apprehended, Game 7 bonanza in the NHL:

New York Times: For 2004, Bush's Aides Plan Late Sprint for Re-election ("The president is planning a sprint of a campaign that would start, at least officially, with his acceptance speech at the Republican convention, a speech now set for Sept. 2."), Elated Shiites, On Pilgrimage, Want U.S. Out ("'Our celebration will be perfect only when the American occupier is gone and the Iraqi people are able to rule themselves by the principles of Islam,'")

Washington Post: Shiite Pilgrims Worship ar Holy Shrine in Karbala ("'We were prohibited from visiting these shrines for a long time by the Baath Party and their agents,' Abed Ali Ghilan told APTN in Karbala. 'This year we thank God for ridding us of the dictator Saddam Hussein and for letting us visit these shrines.'"), State-Defense Policy Rivalry Intensifying ("Gingrich, in an interview, said, 'The story of diplomatic defeat is a bigger and more profound story' than the U.S. military victory.")

USA Today: Saddam's 'Shiite Thug Captured; Shiites Renew rejoicing ("Al-Zubaydi was known as Saddam's "Shiite Thug" for his role in Iraq's bloody suppression of the Shiite Muslim uprising of 1991. Tens of thousands of people died in the revolt."), U.S. Finds More Than $600M Behind False Wall in Baghdad ("Using forklifts to handle the heavy, tightly-wrapped packets of new bills, soldiers from the 3rd Infantry Division hauled the money away for safekeeping, the U.S. Central Command said Tuesday.")

ESPN: Parks' Second Goal Lets Wild Live Another Day/ Reed Puts In Rebound of Tucker Shot to Force Game 7 ("Better sleep well, Leafs and Wild. Their OT victories Monday electrified the Stanley Cup playoffs, setting up tonight's Game 7 tripleheader."), The Daily Quickie ("If you aren't usually a hockey watcher, tonight's your night to check in, even if you can't name a single player on the ice.")
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posted by Matt 9:02 AM

Monday, April 21, 2003

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HORNET UPDATE It's never a good thing to read this about your team's opponent the day after a game:

PHILADELPHIA (AP) -- Of all the prolific offensive performances in the opening games of this year's NBA playoffs, Allen Iverson's was the best.

"The basket looked like an ocean,'' Allen Iverson said after pouring in 55 on Sunday.

Not only that, it was one of the greatest in NBA playoff history.

Iverson scored 55 points Sunday night in a brilliant display of shooting, making 21 of 32 shots while eclipsing his previous playoff-high of 54 as the Philadelphia 76ers defeated the New Orleans Hornets 98-90.

"That was his best ever, by far,'' Philadelphia coach Larry Brown said.

Iverson scored 20 in the fourth quarter to help his team hang onto the lead throughout the final 12 minutes of a closely contested, physical game.

Iverson joined Michael Jordan, Rick Barry, Charles Barkley, Wilt Chamberlain and Elgin Baylor as the only players to score 55 or more in a playoff game.

True to my word, I hunkered down to root for the Hornets through the entirety of Game One of their seven-game series with the Sixers last night. Close, but ultimately, not a pretty sight.

I became very aware during the game of the violence floating constantly through my head. I'll join the crowd denouncing looney fans who run on the field to attack officials or players who fly off the handle and start fights, but I'd be lying if I said I don't usually imagine doing much, much worse. If I were a 6-8 power forward, woe unto the direlict official. Woe unto Allen Iverson. Woe unto cheering fans of the wrong team. Assholes.

I am typically a peaceful, together person, always advocating dignity and compsure. But when things start looking bad, I can't help but imagine blindsiding, oh, let's say a certain tattooed, corn-rowed individual wearing the number 3, in mid-flight, flinging him down mericlessly on the court and stomping on his grimacing face until his head pops like a grape, then casually strolling off the court into infamy, smiling in the face of jeering, howling fans and indignant commentators. But that's only when things are going badly, and I'm sitting home watching on TV. At least there are things to throw.

I know other people throw things, break stuff, etc. when their team loses, but am I alone on the over-the-top violent imagery? Is this typical of sports fans? Does sports breed this angry, tense, frustrating violence in everyone? Is it a testosterone thing? Or do I need some kind of counseling?

On the plus side, I'm getting worked up for the Hornets! Good thing the first round has been extended to seven games; there's plenty of time left. And if they can hold A.I. to 40 or so, and keep everyone else off the board like they did last night, they'll be in great shape. Well, okay shape.
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posted by Matt 8:56 PM

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WHAT'RE YOU WAITING FOR, REYNOLDS? Thanks to the tastefully named Matt Welch, whose unsolicited mention sent quite a bit of traffic my way over the weekend. For us little guys, it's always fun to discover someone new has linked to you, especially when they get Welch's traffic.
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posted by Matt 4:08 PM

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ONCE THERE WAS A THREE-DAY WEEKEND, AND NOW IT'S GONE My friend Brad was driving me around Jackson Friday night, acting as tour guide and killing time, when we came to the stony banks of the Barnett Reservoir, one of the few vague images remaining from my early childhood across the county line. While we're close, I thought, and we have nothing else to do, why not see if we can track down my old neighborhood? And if I can put the decade-old vagueries of an eight-year-old back together in my head, maybe even my old house, the first house I have any coherent recollection of living in.

All I remembered about the little subdivision was its name (Castlewoods); even if I had paid attention to routes and direction in general as a kid (which I didn't, and still don't), I wouldn't have had any idea how to find it from any point. But as it turns out, Castlewoods has grown quite a bit in the last decade or so - a problem later, but a lucky break when asking gas station attendants. A main road runs right into the place, can't miss it. Along that road was my old church (and its once super-modern addition, finished shortly after our move), an old vet clinic I remembered well for some reason, and my old preschool (La Petitte - "The Little"), which is renamed but unmistakable because of its strange, steep, triangular roof. And then, we hit the first Castlewoods signs. Wait a minute, I said.

Since I spotted the old church, everything had been familiar. But these signs were way too far out on the road. They weren't there before, and the neighborhood should still have been a couple miles away. This meant expansion, and expanison meant confusion. As we went further, it was obvious once-quaint Castlewoods had spawned off several sub-subdvisions within itself - little nooks inevitably suffixed "-wood," always forming a maze of circles and drives and places and nearly identical suburban houses with short gravel driveways and three columns in front; in the dark, especially, they're indistinguishable. How could I tell what was old and what was new? What if my street had been designated a part of some new area, or renamed? I didn't even remember its name to begin with. What if it had become a part of some new sub-subdivision, like Tanglewood or Placidwood or Morningwood or The Woodlands or something?

But our tallest hurdle was proving to be my faulty memory, which was cutting and pasting random images but discerning very little. I was sure I'd know it when I saw it: a street without a single houseless lot, beginning with a short, sharp curve to the left, onto a monster of a hill, a hill so steep I couldn't ride my bike to the peak, a head-first decline all the way down to a road that branched off of the first street, intercepting it from a cul de sac, and looped all the way around the neighborhood in a giant semi-circle and eventually ran back into the main road; my house was at the corner of the first and second streets, at the bottom of the hill, just before the cul de sac. I would know it. But I did not know how to get to that street. Any of the roads we were on could have led to mine, but there was no way of knowing which one exactly. We were momentarily encouraged by any little detail that sparked some memory: a country club we drove by on our way in where we would swim and whose golf course ran behind my backyard, street signs with the old Castlewoods logo, but it all turned into the same maze. All seemed lost.

We were going to give up when we hit a random road that curved, went up a hill, and ran down into a cul de sac. I did not know it when I saw it. The street names weren't familiar, the curve wasn't as sharp, the hill much longer but not nearly as steep as I remembered. I didn't really decide we were actually in the right place until we were turning around in the cul de sac and heading back towards my house. I barely even recognized the house itself, not because it was any different, but because I don't remember much about the outside anyway.

But I was suddenly oriented. They say everything is smaller when you revisit your childhood home, but it seemed about the same to me. I pointed out the house of my neighbor who came over and cut the head off a copperhead in our driveway with a garden hoe, the house where a glowing skeleton answered the door one Halloween, the token Vicious Dog on the Other Side of the Fence When You Lose a Ball There House (next door to mine), the Trampoline House we would take advantage of at every opportunity and where a hot-air balloon inexplicably landed one afternoon, and the houses of Ian, Jason and Brandon, the latter two streets over from mine and the site of my horriffic Crash of 1990, the bike wreck that probably came within inches of blinding me and/or knocking all my teeth out. Good times.

Saturday night, however: not good times. Bad times. On my way from Jackson to my grandparents' house in Bay Springs (about an hour away) for Easter, I was going slightly too fast around a curve and hit a vicious spot in the road. It sounded horrible, but nothing was wrong, really, so I figured no harm, no foul. But oh, was there harm. First, the car started pulling hard to the right. Okay, I can still control it, no biggie. But the bumping, the unsettling rattling noise, the grinding sound when I tried to accelerate...time to pull over.

Turns out (I think) I ran off the road and knocked the inner rim of my tire out of whack, opening a hole for the whole thing to deflate. And, sorry as I am to admit it, I don't really know how to change a tire. Well, I know the procedure, I've seen it done, but I've never done it myself. Luckily, after some convoluted cell tag, the cavalry (my parents, already in Bay Springs, and my uncle from Jackson - summoned by the 'rents, not by me) arrived within an hour and helped me get back on the road. And we only broke two lugs off the rim changing the tire! So I have my dad's truck (and its CD player) this week while he gets the lugs fixed, which is okay by me. Might even make it two weeks. Hell, let's just see if we can ride it out through finals.
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posted by Matt 1:59 PM

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WHAT'S THE STORY, MORNING GLORY? Hidden arms, new (temporary) leadership in Iraq, SARS panic, A.I. goes wild:

The New York Times Illicit Arms Kept Till Eve of War, Iraqi Scientist is Said to State ("The scientist also told American weapons experts that Iraq had secretly sent unconventional weapons and technology to Syria, starting in the mid-1990's, and that more recently Iraq was cooperating with Al Qaeda, the military officials said."), Garner Arrives in Baghdad ("Asked what the greatest challenge was, he said: `Everything is the challenge.'''), Economies Hurt by SARS, and Fear ("'A lot of the guys have thrown their arms up and stopped' fishing, said Mr. Glynn, who had to go out fishing anyway for three straight days and two nights on the Great Barrier Reef because he had just bought a house. 'The mortgage won't go away.'")

Washington Post SARS Coverup Sparks a Shake-Up in Beijing ("The government increased the number of confirmed SARS cases in the capital from 37 to 346, a tacit acknowledgement that it had previously lied about the toll."), Local Officials Rise Up to Defy The Patriot Act ("This little city (pop.: 16,000) has become the first in the nation to pass an ordinance that outlaws voluntary compliance with the Patriot Act."), Biotoxins Fall Into Private Hands ("But most disturbing was the question Basson could not answer: Who controls the microbes now?")

The Guardian US to 'Keep Bases' in Iraq ("According to reports, the Pentagon intends to retain four military bases in Iraq after the invasion force withdraws. It is already using the bases to support continuing operations against pockets of resistance. "), China Says SARS Outbreak is 10 Times Worse than Admitted ("Officials also conceded that the problem in Beijing was nearly 10 times worse than had been admitted, and ordered the cancellation of the week-long May Day holiday in an effort to halt the spread of infection from severe acute respiratory syndrome.")

ESPN Iverson Sets Club Playoff Mark With 55 Points ("'That was his best ever, by far,'' Philadelphia coach Larry Brown said."), The Daily Quickie ("AI's 55 reset the bar after ridiculous individual performances this weekend: Kobe's 39? Please. Paul Pierce's 40? Yawn. Dirk's 46? Less impressive than T-Mac's 43 (with zero supporting cast) on Sunday.
")
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posted by Matt 9:35 AM

Friday, April 18, 2003

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UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN I'm off to take advantage of the long weekend to visit my friend Brad in Jackson and then my grandparents for Easter. Don't despair! I'll be back Monday.
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posted by Matt 12:53 PM

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WELL! I have been criticized for my response to this article in reason yesterday.

Although I could, I won't bother to go through with a point by point counterargument - as I noted in the guy's comment section, the point was never the validity of the programs, but that they were added on to an "emergency" bill intended for Iraq, and themselves have nothing to do with Iraq. If something's worth spending millions of dollars on, then it's worth its own bill, or at least a bill whose goals it has some slight relevance to; otherwise, they can get sneaky on us.
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posted by Matt 12:49 PM

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JEALOUSY The tail end of today's wonderful Lileks entry, displaying why he's easily the best writer I've encountered on the web:

Tonight I took Gnat up to my room to play while I crunched some video. She started taking down Penguin paperbacks from the shelf and reading them out loud. They all had the same plot and the same conclusion.

Plato’s Republic: the spider went down the spout and they all lived happily ever after. The end.

War and Peace: the spider went down the spout and they all lived happily ever after. The end.

Every novel by Turgenev: the spider went down the spout and they all lived happily ever after. The end.

“The Nun,” by Denis Diderot: the spider went down the spout and they all lived happily ever after. The end.

She handed me the second volume of Les Miserables. “You read it,” she said.

“Le spider, Javert, went down the spout, so to speak, and they all lived happily ever after. Fin.”

“That’s a wonnerful book,” she said. I agreed that it was.

But, hey: I’m shocked at the number of children’s books that accept the same old linear order of the alphabet, and impose the Western notions of vocalized sounds on the unformed ear. I will correct this by writing a series of books that teach the Xhosa alphabet, complete with its wonderful clicking noises, and I will use Babylonian cuneiform to tell the story of a brave princess who gores the prince in his groinal department with a lance dipped in suppurating chicken guts. No more powerless princesses! Up with empowered royalty! Somewhere in Africa a downtrodden woman is pasting a picture of Fergie to her wall and thinking you go, girl! You go!

Go check out The Bleat to read the whole, um, thing.
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posted by Matt 11:51 AM

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MORFORD WATCH: FOLLOWING AMERICA'S WORST EMPLOYD WRITER Today, Mark writes this:

We must admit it: The hawks and warmongers were right about Iraq all along. The peaceniks had it all wrong, what with our lame pacifist whining about thousands of needless deaths and BushCo's mad rush for oil and vicious regional control and its bloody long-term plan to strong-arm the Middle East for the administration's corporate wet dreams.

Has Mr. Morford seen the light, you ask? Well, no. He's just being sarcastic - otherwise, it's the same column he's written for the past two months. ShrubCo, smirking, angry Christian God, warmongers, etc. Ho hum.
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posted by Matt 11:17 AM

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WHAT'S THE STORY, MORNING GLORY? Nuclear Korea, Sharpshooting pilots, Laker head games:

The New York Times: North Korea Says It Is Extracting Plutonium From Fuel Rods ("'They also have the momentum of having virtually summoned the United States to the table. In their warped world, they think they're dealing on the same level as the United States as a nuclear power.'")

Washington Post: Another Top Baath Party Official Taken Into Custody ("At a Baghdad mosque, thousands of worshippers protested the U.S. military presence in Iraq."), Pilots Prepare to Arm and Defend ("The pilots are learning a range of tactics, including shooting over the shoulder, a maneuver that worries some security experts.")

The Guardian: Blair: I Was Ready to Quit Over Iraq (""In the end, it is a decision you put the whole of the premiership on the line for," Mr Blair said in an interview with the Sun newspaper."), North Korea 'Reprocessing Nuclear Fuel' ("The move dramatically raises the stakes in talks due to be held next week in Beijing on the North's suspected nuclear weapons programmes.")

ESPN: Lakers Have Played Head Games with West's Best ("The Minnesota Timberwolves have never faced the former Minneapolis Lakers in the playoffs. That is why the Wolves do not appear on the list that every West team dreads...Yet"), The Daily Quickie ("Prep QB John David Booty:
Skipping senior HIGH SCHOOL season to play at Southern Cal full year ahead of schedule. Wannabes: To "go NCAA" early too, just hit those books.")

Local news, on a holiday:

The Sun Herald: 5 Doctors, 3 Nurses to Take Year Leave ("The clinic sent applications to about 20 other insurance companies over the past seven months, and he hired someone just to fill out the paperwork."), Courts Open to Cameras in July (""We intend to make a comprehensive review of the rules to ensure that the public is served and the litigants are not hindered by the process," Waller said.")

The Clarion Ledger: State Asked to consider Charges in MBN Probe ("The Mississippi Bureau of Narcotics asked the state Thursday to consider charges in an investigation into the alleged transfer of agency planes to curry political favor, the theft of state property — including seized guns — and the falsification of overtime records."), Musgrove Beams Like Proud Father at Nissan Unveiling (""It's a major statement about the people of Mississippi that Nissan has invested this kind of faith and money in our state," Musgrove said from the New York International Auto Show.")

Hattiesburg American: Special Homes Offer Help to Pine Belt HIV Patients ("'But I had something a lot of HIV people don't have," Jordan said. "I had someone who knew the system who could help me get the help I needed.'"), Area's 890th Ordered Overseas ("Powell said he does not know which country the troops were deployed to, only that it is in connection with Operation Iraqi Freedom.")
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posted by Matt 10:56 AM

Thursday, April 17, 2003

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FUN WITH YOUR TAX DOLLARS Wanna know where some of the money you sent off a couple days ago is headed? Sara Riemensnyder, on some of the add-ons to the $80 billion bill President Bush signed off on yesterday:

*$2.9 billion to bail out failing airlines (just in time)

*$117 million for the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration to build a National Polar-orbiting Operational Environmental Satellite System. (Strangely, the appropriation provides for $2,460,000 to be peeled off for the International Fisheries Commissions for such projects as sea lamprey control in Lake Champlain.)

*$2 million to increase funding for the United States Fish and Wildlife Service's State and Tribal Wildlife Grants

*$1 million for Training and Employment Services at the Department of Labor

*$23.3 million for commission, salaries, and expenses for the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission

*$9 billion in loan guarantees to Israel

*$23.6 million in Operating Expenses of the United States Agency for International Development

*$300 million in grants, $2 billion in loan guarantees for economic support to Egypt

*$1 billion in grants, $8.5 billion in loan guarantees for economic support to Turkey

*$700 million-plus for assistance for Jordan

*$50 million to the Philippines to " further prospects for peace in Mindanao"

*$16 million to study severe acute respiratory syndrome, or SARS

All for the good of the Iraqi people, naturally.

Add to the list $93 million for anti-narcotics measures, which left Massachusetts Rep. Jim McGovern none too pleased. I'm with him on this one. In the words of Bill Maher: "Why do we punish Colombia because we can't stop using drugs?"
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posted by Matt 4:45 PM

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CNN.COM SAYS WHAT? The Unintentional Comedy Rating doesn't go high enough for this story from The Smoking Gun:

APRIL 16--While all news organizations prepare obituaries in advance of the deaths of famous individuals, the folks at CNN inadvertently gave the Internet-surfing public a chance to preview how the network's web site would note the demise of Vice President Dick Cheney, Ronald Reagan, and a few other prominent figures. Until earlier this afternoon, a CNN server housed mock-ups of web pages announcing the yet-to-happen deaths. The CNN pages, which were discovered by the intrepid folks at fark.com, were yanked about 20 minutes after being exposed (though TSG was able to grab a few of the pages for posterity's sake).

Here are a few: Fidel Castro, Bob Hope, Pope John Paul II, and Gerald Ford (which, as Jesse Walker points out, unfortunately lacks the line "Tragedy today, as former president Gerald Ford was eaten by wolves...").

Main story link via the Hit & Run.
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posted by Matt 1:45 PM

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LEARNING TO LOVE I feel I should officially apologize to the New Orleans Hornets, to whom I pledged the same devotion I've given their new brethren, the Saints, for years when they (the Hornets) announced they were moving to my surrogate metropolis last Spring. I would watch any and all televised games, hunt down radio broadcasts if necessary, cheer with passion, live and die with every possession, break things when they lost, obsessively check stats and standings and injury updates online...whatever it took to make myself the same diehard for the NBA as I've always been for the NFL. A year after that pledge, the sum of my knowledge is: the Hornets are in the playoffs.

It was a flawed, half-hearted attempt from the beginning. I'm a football guy; always have been, always will be. I haven't followed the NBA regular season with any shred of consistency since the eighth grade. The Saints still have an exclusive, unrelenting grip on my pro sports loyalties; it was stupid to think I could suddenly manufacture a passion for a team I knew little and cared even less about simply because they were moving into the nearest large city.

It takes time for these relationships to grow and develop. I haven't always ridden a wave of optimism through mid-week when the Saints win or screamed and slammed doors and thrown small chairs around when they lose; those emotions are the result of a long, tumultuous labor of love. Until that connection is made with the Hornets, until I've emotionally ridden the ups and downs along with them, until they become my team, my devotion will remain shallow and detached. Intellectual - I know I should be rooting for them - but not spiritual.

New Orleans as a whole seems to be rather sloth in embracing the Hornets. I don't know much about the attendance figures, but I do know that very little of the daily five hours of sports talk on the city's major radio station centers around the team, and the network doesn't carry any of the games, either (this station does, however, still carry LSU baseball - old loyalties die hard, I suppose). The city's still sizing the team up, it seems; if they're going to be perpetually lousy - like the Saints - or if they're going to leave town - like they just did to Charlotte, and like the Jazz did to New Orleans in the seventies - then the bond might not be worth forming.

But the playoffs are the opportunity to salvage what remains of this rocky relationship. The regular season is long and tedious; the leisurely pace of the 82-game NBA marathon is too grueling to follow when compared to the 16-game NFL season, when each game is crucial. But the playoffs are wholly different; now the games really matter. Now we'll find out a little about this mysterious team that was so inconsistent, injury-riddled, and baffling throughout the season. This is the Hornets' best chance to win over their new city, when all eyes will be on them. If we like what we see - if they win a series or two - it could mean the start of a beautiful relationship.

So I'm saying it now, and I mean it this time: Go get 'em, Hornets. I, for one, will be behind you.
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posted by Matt 1:19 PM

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WHAT'S THE STORY, MORNING GLORY? Hussein's half-brother captured, M.J.'s final game, there's no alcohol in baseball:

New York Times: U.S. Forces Capture Hussein's Half-Brother ("'We are currently asking a number of questions' of Mr. al-Tikriti, General Brooks added, 'finding out whatever we can from this capture.'", playing card sighting - al-Tikriti's the five of clubs), U.S. Generals Meet in Palace, Sealing Victory ("'Until today we are sitting in our houses," he went on. "Not safe from killers, looters. American forces stand by and do nothing. There is no security, no order. People do not feel safe.')

Washington Post: The Air Finally Runs Out ("All told, Jordan amassed 32,292 points, 6,672 rebounds, 5,633 assists, 2,514 steals, 12,192 field goals, 6 NBA championships, 5 league most valuable player awards, fame and fortune."), Hussein's Half-Brother Captured ("Barzan was number 52 and the five of clubs in a U.S. pack of cards of 55 most-wanted Iraqis distributed to the troops.")

The Guardian: Bush: U.N. Must Lift Iraq Sanctions ("The resolution states that sanctions can be lifted when the council has agreed that Iraq has completed disarmament.")

ESPN: Snapshots of a Legend's Last Game ("'I told him, 'If he wants to play 48 and shoot 50 times, go ahead.' It's his night.'"), The Daily Quickie ("Take it from Homer Simpson, who toasted, 'To alcohol: The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.'")
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posted by Matt 9:15 AM

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MY LITTLE BLOG IS GROWING UP... My first hit (that I know of) from a porn hunt:

"hot sexy arabia girls"

How that sent the poor guy here, I don't know. Hope he found what he was looking for, anyway.
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posted by Matt 1:04 AM

Wednesday, April 16, 2003

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WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR? In the case of Iraq, war's good for this:

BAGHDAD -- For three days, American tanks have been shelling a military intelligence building in the posh Al-Khathamia area in west Baghdad.

The dozen or so tanks are not here to pound intransigent fighters but to break down concrete beams and steel, to reach bunkers deep underground at the Al-Istikhbarat Al-'Askariya facility.

The Marines found 123 prisoners, including five women, barely alive in an underground warren of cells and torture chambers.

Being trapped underground probably kept them safe from the bombing of Baghdad by the coalition.

Severely emaciated, some had survived by eating the scabs off their sores. All the men had beards down to their waists, said onlookers.

Most looked absolutely dazed when they emerged, said Mr Sadoun Mohamed, 37, who lives in the area.

'They had not seen sunlight for a long time,' he said. 'They kept blinking and covering their faces.' He said they were taken to the Saddam Hospital for treatment.

Their names were posted on the walls of the Al-Hajabehia Mosque in west Baghdad, as were names of some 40 others known to have been executed or murdered in prison.

Hundreds of anxious locals wait for word of their family, relatives and friends, some of whom were taken away more than 10 years ago.

Via Rachel Lucas.
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posted by Matt 6:45 PM

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GET ' EM ALL Okay, who's next? Syria? Booooring - what about Jordan? Somebody's got to go!

This was always the biggest flaw in my humanitarian justification for war with Iraq: Saddam Hussein ain't the only despotic murderer on the block. There's baddies in Zimbabwe, Cuba, and Congo still around, just to name a few off the top of my head. We can't take out everyody. Can we? I have more isolationist tendencies...but now that we've done it in Iraq - and, based on the even more horrible-than-imagined stories coming out of there now, it would have been barbaric for us not to have interevened in Iraq - how can we justify not liberating the other suffering souls around the world? If we decide to do it, I couldn't logically be against it, but that doesn't mean I hope we start invading everybody and his brother. There's a difference between not being against something and supporting it - and I'm not talking about apathy - right? For my sake, I say yes.
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posted by Matt 3:58 PM

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MORFORD WATCH: FOLLOWING AMERICA'S WORST EMPLOYED WRITER Today, Mark channels the universe, which as it turns out isn't all that articulate:

George. Hey, universe here. Great eternal karmic engine of all that ever was and is and will be everywhere for all time, yadda yadda yadda. We have to talk.

Weirdest thing. I've been fighting this nasty rash, you see, this itchy painful scabby thing, very unusual, uncomfortable and annoying as all hell, as you might imagine. Not sleeping well. Tea tastes funny. Divine timeless luminous glow is flickering like a bad bulb. Haven't seen anything like this since, oh, the Crusades, or the Salem witch trials, or 'Nam. So weird.

Oh, the arrogance. Just read it in its blasphemous and insulting (especially to Islam - he seems to confuse Mohammed and Allah) entirety.

I'm starting to tire of the Morford Watch - he's written the same column twice a week for the past two months. There's only so much you can say.
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posted by Matt 10:55 AM

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WHAT'S THE STORY, MORNING GLORY? Talks with North Korea, an extradited cruise ship hijacker, postwar realignment, statements and protests in Europe, violent baseball fans, and The End for Michael Jordan:

The New York Times: North Koreans and U.S. Plan Talks in Beijing Next Week ("The agreement to enter the negotiations with both China and the United States marks a major concession for North Korea and an apparent victory for President Bush."), Italy To Seek Extradition of Cruise Ship Hijacker ("Militants shot Klinghoffer in his wheelchair and tossed him overboard.")

Washington Post: U.S. Forces Will Redeploy Into 3 Zones (" 'We see that as the number one threat we're going to have to deal with in post-hostilities," Smith said. "We're going to aggressively hunt these guys down and we'll destroy them.'"), Three Civilians Killed in Mosul ("...Marines opened fire on a mob trying to scale the wall around a compound where the U.S. military was setting up an administrative post...")

The Guardian: EU Leaders to Make Iraq Statement ("Outside the meeting, police fired tear gas during clashes with hundreds of protesters at an anti-war rally."), U.S. Finds 'Bomb-Making Centres' ("US special forces today raided the Baghdad home of a microbiologist nicknamed "Dr Germ" who was responsible for running Iraq's secret biological programme.")

ESPN: Security Official Gets to Work on Solving Problem ("Everybody shudders when a fan runs onto a baseball field and lurches at an umpire. Only Kevin Hallinan can do something about it."), Jordan's Comeback Was Worthwhile For Wiz ("It will end on Wednesday for Michael Jordan, with his basketball career sliced into three separate timelines: The Climb, 1984-93; The Return, 1995-98, The Itch, 2001-03."), Jordan's Deconstructive Criticism Didn't Help ("It's like Superman telling everyone what a rag the Daily Planet is. How's that going to help Clark Kent do his job?")
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posted by Matt 9:47 AM

Tuesday, April 15, 2003

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WHO DOESN'T LOVE THE IRAQI INFORMATION MINISTER? Is there anyone funnier right now than Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf?

Link via Saddam Hussein himself, who provides a few laughs of his own.
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posted by Matt 6:08 PM

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GLORY BE Has The Onion seen the light?

And maybe they're on to something.
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posted by Matt 5:12 PM

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REVENGE OF THE NERDS Peter Bagge, on the Nerdification of America.

Star Wars, Star Trek, Spiderman, The Lord of the Rings, Babylon 5, Harry Potter, the Internet, pretty much any non-sports video game...it's hard to diasgree.
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posted by Matt 2:11 PM

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HAPPY APRIL 15TH This is why I'm glad I'm not yet fully integrated into the workforce. Reality will slap me in the face soon, but I'll enjoy this college perk for a little longer.
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posted by Matt 1:48 PM

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LET'S TRY THIS AGAIN After Blogger eats my first attempt at this post...

ESPN's Page 2 rates its ten worst pro sports teams of all-time, with one naotable exception: the famous Cleveland Spiders, who finished an astounding 20-134 in 1899:

It's very difficult to express just how hopeless were the 1899 Cleveland Spiders. Jim Hughey, their best pitcher, won four games and lost 30. There were 12 teams in the National League that season, and the Spiders finished 35 games out of 11th place. In their last 41 games, the Spiders went 1-40.

It should be said that the Spiders had a pretty good excuse. Their owner, Frank De Haas Robison, purchased the St. Louis franchise prior to the 1899 season. And then he did what any right-thinking owner of two baseball franchises would do: he put all of his good players on one team, and left the dregs to the other. After the season, the Spiders were put out of their misery when the National League contracted by four teams.

That exerpt appeared where? Why, espn.com, which now neglects to acknowledge the Spiders' much-celebrated futility.

If you're interested, here are the Spiders' 1899 stats - the batting's pretty bad, but cover your eyes at the ERAs.

How, I must ask, are my beloved Saints absent from any list of pro sport failure? Gaze upon the teams of 1970, 1972, 1975, 1980 (especially 1980), and 1999 and feel our woe. Thankfully, all but the last of these was before my lifetime, yet I too know much heartbreak at the hands of the 'Aints - most of the teams in between the above-mentioned seasons were awful, too. New Orleans, because until this year it had no other team in town, is the most underappreciated of the anguished sports cities (with Boston - and its dozens of Celtic, Bruin, and now even Patriot championships - the most over-hyped, merely because of the Red Sox, whose past successes also leave us Saints fans pretty jealous).

Also from Page 2, the early line on Super Bowl XXXVIII; the Eagles are the favorite, at 5-1. Good to know in April; most people can't predict the winner of the Super Bowl the week before the game, when they actually know who's playing. They can lay their money down now.
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posted by Matt 1:35 PM

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RELAX, IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE BORING When I saw a link to the Dullest Blog on the Web, I was afraid it would lead to mine. It's a Jim's Journal-style anti-humor operation instead. Whew.
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posted by Matt 12:20 PM

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THE MORNING STORY What comes of Iraq? And Roy Williams?

The New York Times Fractious Iraqis Meet to Try to Work Out Country's Future ("'I don't think they had a love-in when they had Philadelphia' in 1787...")

Washington Post U.S.-led Gathering to Begin Remaking Iraq ("'This is a big-tent concept, a town hall meeting,' one official said."), No Plan to Count Iraqi Losses ("The Pentagon said yesterday that it has no plans to determine how many Iraqi civilians may have been killed or injured or suffered property damage as a result of U.S. military operations in Iraq.")

The Guardian Talks Begin on Postwar Iraq ("They chanted: 'No to America, no to Saddam'.)

ESPN Williams Returns Home to Coach Alma Mater ("'I was a Tar Heel born. When I die, I'll be a Tar Heel dead. But in the middle, I have been Tar Heel and Jayhawk bred, and I am so, so happy and proud of that.'"), The Daily Quickie ("What, are they TRYING to not get LeBron? Cavs better be thankful for missing game-winning dunk at buzzer...")
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posted by Matt 9:12 AM

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Looks like I wasn't the only one unimpressed with The Onion's "war coverage".
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posted by Matt 12:49 AM

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U.S. UNSUITABLE FOR HUMAN LIFE Kurt Vonnegut is a literary god, for sure, and possibly the most impressive writer I've ever encountered, but this, from his new gig as an advice columnist for In These Times, is not enhancing his legacy in my mind:

I’d love to know your thoughts for a woman of 43 who is finally ready to have children but is wary of bringing new lives into such a frightening world.
Elizabeth Gratch
Ypsilanti, Michigan

Dear Elizabeth,
Don’t do it! It could be another George W. Bush or Lucrezia Borgia.

The kid would be lucky to be born into a society where even the poor people are overweight, but unlucky to be in one without a national health plan or decent public education for most, where lethal injection and warfare are forms of entertainment, and where it costs an arm and a leg to go to college. This would not be the case if the kid were a Canuck or Swede or Limey or Frog or Kraut. So either go on practicing safe sex or emigrate.
Kurt

God forbid your child grow up to pay for his own goods and services, or - dare we even speak the unfathomable horror? - be president!

I'm sorry, Mr. Vonnegut.

Link via the Hit & Run, who is not very kind, either.
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posted by Matt 12:38 AM

Monday, April 14, 2003

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THE WORLD WOULD BE A BETTER PLACE, IF IT ONLY FOLLOWED OUR RULES Juan Gato, on the International Bill of Rights:

I'm not going to make fun of the idea of a International Bill of Rights. Ok, I am a little. Mostly because I love how utopians tend to ignore the contradictions and impediments that reality and humanity cause.

The document would also guarantee a person's right to practice "his or her cultural identity,"
[...]
and the end of "slavery or indentured servitude."

And what if this cultural identity is slavery or mutilations or culturally demanded misogyny? Too many look at the fwuffy indigenous people and see only the cutesy. And if it isn't cutesy, well, it's nobler and more in tune with nature, so we can just explain it away. But hey, when we're ignoring reality, might as well go for it all.

It also demands an end to nuclear weapons and testing

Sure, we'll forget they were ever invented and pretend that no one knows how. Since all nations and peoples at their core are good hearted and true, we'll never have to worry about them again.

I don't have anything to add, the guy's right.
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posted by Matt 7:08 PM

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SCHOOL SHOOTING UPDATE Four teenagers were arrested for this morning's shooting in New Orleans:

One student is dead and four others are at Charity hospital being treated for injuries, after four suspects walked into John McDonogh high school Monday morning and opened fire. Police Chief Eddie Compass says four suspects were able to get into the school gym with an AK-47. "Individuals were apprehended minutes after the incident took place."

Compass says the four - two 18 year olds, a 19 year old, and a 15 year old - were caught just a few blocks from the school.

In addition to the 15 year old boy killed Monday, four students were injured. Three students were injured by bullets and lived through the shooting. Charity and University hospital spokesman Jerry Romig says only one victim needed surgery - a 15 year old girl.

Local news said the incident was apparently gang-related. The school has metal detectors, by the way, which somehow failed to catch an AK-47. Just more woes for the sorry New Orleans public schools.
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posted by Matt 6:19 PM

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BLOGGING FOR MILK Rob Walker, on Dr. Pepper/7-Up's new teenage blog ad campaign for Raging Cow, its new milk-based "extreme" concoction:

There are three possibilities for how a campaign like this one will work out. One is that it will go precisely according to plan—the target audience will take the bloggers' endorsements at face value, try the drink, and love it. Another is that there will be a blogosphere backlash: The same "viral" dynamic will boomerang, and drinking Raging Cow will make you look like a Whimpering Sheep. But the third possibility is that both of these things will happen at the same time. People will recognize the fakery but try the drink anyway. It would work, in other words, just like a regular old ad campaign. And at this point, that's probably the best outcome that Raging Cow can hope for.

Businesses pedalling on the blogosphere? Say it ain't so! Is nothing sacred anymore?

Of course not. This is the Web.
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posted by Matt 12:30 PM

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SCHOOL SHOOTING One dead and three injured right down the road, at McDonough High School in New Orleans:

NEW ORLEANS -- A gunman shot and killed a student and wounded three others Monday at a New Orleans high school, police said.

Chief Eddie Compass said the three were not believed to have life-threatening wounds. The gunman apparently slipped into the neighborhood surrounding John McDonogh High School and was being sought by officers, Compass said.

"Our tactical units have swept all the buildings. The children are completely safe," he said.

There was no immediate word on possible motive.

John McDonogh High is in the Mid-City neighborhood. Traffic in the area was shut down, and hundreds of people gathered outside, some of them crying.

Students were ordered to stay in their classrooms after the shooting around 10:30 a.m. CDT.

Makes you sick to hear. First thoughts are to the kids in the school, and their families, who must be going insane right now waiting to hear about their kid. The second thoughts are to kneejerk, zero-tolerance reactions to one-in-a-million tragedies. 99.9% of schools will never need them, and they don't offer much help.

I'll be listening to New Orleans radio this afternoon; updates to follow, if necessary.
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posted by Matt 12:13 PM

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THE MORNING STORY U.S. Marines fighting in Tikrit, seven U.S. POWs rescued, Mike Weir wins Masters:

New York Times: Americans Moving to Clear Northern City of Iraqi Fighters ("Some officers are suggesting that this battle could be the last major engagement of the war."), For 7 Families, Relief After Weeks of Waiting ("'I told myself, `Hell no, not my Joseph,' " Ms. Hudson said here, surrounded by a half-dozen friends from the Philippines sitting on lawn chairs in her yard. "God's going to deliver him back to me for my birthday.'")

Washington Post: Days of Darkness, With Death Outside the Door ("'We got turned around and then lost and we rolled into Nasiriyah before it was secure and when we rolled in there was an ambush waiting for us,' recalled Spec. Shoshana Johnson, 30, from El Paso."), Forces Move Into Hussein's Ancestral Town ("Explosions thudded occasionally, apparently from artillery or bombs, Monnet said by satellite telephone. A plume of thick, black smoke rose above a building identified by Tikrit residents as a Baath Party headquarters, she said. Helicopters were heard over the city after night fell.")

The Guardian: Saddam's Final Stronghold Falls ("Al-Jazeera's correspondent in the city, Youssef al-Sharif, said: 'Tikrit is totally under US control, and they are talking with tribes to control the city and take out all pockets of resistance.'")

ESPN Gritty in Green ("Augusta has a special place for players with imagination, but Mike Weir spun a different kind of Masters magic Sunday."), The Daily Quickie ("Burk Watch: More people protested that the line at my local coffee shop was moving too slowly than there were numbers in Martha's posse this weekend.")
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posted by Matt 9:38 AM

Sunday, April 13, 2003

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ENOUGH ALREADY Dove Jesse Walker is a little tired of us hawks' gloating:

A new hypothesis: political movements are most boorish in their times of triumph. The only time I came close to regretting my dovish sympathies was when the prospects for quick American victory looked most grim: an inadvertent glee had crept into some of the antiwar commentary, as though the prospect of making the hawks eat crow was more palatable than the prospects for a rapid end to the fighting. Now that Baghdad has fallen and the war is reduced to a mop-up mission, it's the prophets of belligerence who look their worst -- and believe me, their worst is a lot uglier than ours. The smug self-righteousness that mars so many warblogs even on better days has now shifted into overdrive. Apparently, the fall of Baghdad proves the antiwar forces were wrong, because of course the only reason anyone opposed the war was because he thought we might not win it. Apparently, the doves didn't care about Saddam's victims, because of course an invasion was the only possible way to bring his dictatorship down.

Walker's also looking to the future of the anti-war movement:

But now the war is ending, and the occupation is beginning. As the last Ba'athist resistance is eliminated, we paradoxically enter the time an antiwar movement is needed the most. We need a movement against pushing our battalions into yet more fights, a movement against colonial occupations and corrupt concessions, a movement for disentangling us from every Mideastern struggle except the battle to stop those who would kill American civilians. A movement to withdraw our troops from Saudi Arabia, to quickly allow the Iraqis their long-denied right of self-government, to oppose the neocons' push for global hegemony, and to protect and restore civil liberties. A movement, in other words, that can adapt to a changed situation without ceasing to articulate two of the oldest American causes: peace abroad and liberty at home.

In terms of the destructiveness, duration, and bloodiness of the war, most doves were a little, um, off, but were they out-and-out wrong to oppose violence they thought unnecessary? Of course not. In fact, with the hardest part still ahead, there's a chance they might turn out to be right in the end.

But I wouldn't bet on it.
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posted by Matt 7:17 PM

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BETTER THAN NO FOOD Oh my, what will happen to the Iraqis when the evil of fast food moves in?

Stephanie Schaudel, co-coordinator for Voices in the Wilderness, an anti-war group in Chicago, said the "richness of culture" in Iraq is going to be subjected to Americanization by U.S. corporations during the post-war rebuilding of the war-torn nation. The result, she indicated, would be difficult for Iraqis to swallow.

"Some people would think that seeing a KFC (formerly Kentucky Fried Chicken) on a street corner is a sign of progress, I certainly don't," Schaudel said.
[...]
"Iraqis have really good food, they don't need a KFC," she added.

Guess what, Stephanie...if the Iraqi food is so good, then they won't buy the fuckin' KFC and it'll go away, and you can celebrate a victory over U.S. imperialism. But here's betting that won't happen.

Here is a report from last summer on Iraqi food, and who gets to eat it.

First link via Instapundit.
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posted by Matt 12:41 PM

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POWS ALIVE Good news:

SOUTH OF BAGHDAD, Iraq (CNN) -- Seven U.S. troops freed Sunday after being held by Iraqi forces arrived by helicopter at a base south of Baghdad and were transferred to a C-130 transport plane headed for Kuwait, CNN's Bob Franken reported from the scene.

All seven were able to walk on their own, but two appeared to be more seriously injured and limped to the plane at the base, about 65 miles south of the Iraqi capital, Franken said. The other five ran to the plane, said Franken, who is embedded with the 24th Marine Expeditionary Unit. The seven were being flown to Kuwait City.

They "bounded" onto the plane, according to the report on TV.

CNN also reported (but apparently didn't add to their web site) some Iraqis were protesting the lack of protection from looters. Just like true Westerners! They learn fast.
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posted by Matt 12:19 PM

Saturday, April 12, 2003

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NEW RADIOHEAD I think I'll have to get this album:

Fourteen songs are finding themselves on this record. They've been previewed here before, but listening to them from the album is just something else. All the electronica from 'Amnesiac' is there, for sure, while the catchy pop-rock of 'OK Computer' and 'The Bends' is there in tenfold. This record climaxes with every song, where no band could possibly reach these stakes. Droning piano playing, cryptic guitar, elctronic drums, it's there. Thom's voice escalates through this record in ways I never thought possible. This is rock and roll. This is music. This is what music should be. And why would Radiohead settle for worse? This album will give you new feelings you thought you could only experience through life or death.

If this review is on target, "June 6th will be a big day in rock 'n roll" indeed.
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posted by Matt 5:19 PM

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CHEMICAL WARHEAD Is this what the Bush administration was hoping for, or another false alarm?

BAGHDAD, Iraq (CNN) -- Coalition weapons experts were called to an occupied air base in northern Iraq to determine whether a warhead found there was loaded with chemical weapons, military sources told CNN.

U.S. troops found the warhead, which is about as long as a baseball bat and as big around as a coffee can, during routine operations to secure the airfield in Kirkuk. It was marked with a green band which, military sources told CNN, is the universal symbol for chemical weaponry.

Time will tell, I guess. I supported the war on a humanitarian basis, so WMD aren't essential for me to justify it, but I'd like to know for sure there was actually some illegal weapons activity going on, too; we all trusted Powell's UN presentation. I imagine it's grasping at every straw until something comes up.
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posted by Matt 12:09 PM

Friday, April 11, 2003

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NEVER MIND PAY FOR PLAY... The Amber Alert bill just passed Congress, carrying with it what will likely go down as one of the worst pieces of legislation in U.S. history:

Sen. Joe Biden (D-DE) and Rep. Tom Feeney (R-FL) took advantage of Congress' engrained inability to vote against anything that might "save the children" to win passage of two measures destined to cause pain and misery for untold numbers of adult partygoers, club owners, event organizers and criminal defendants. Biden, an inveterate drug warrior who authored the notorious "crack house" legislation of 1984, hitched his widely criticized RAVE Act (S226, now known officially as the "Illicit Drug Anti-Proliferation Act," Biden having dropped the inflammatory moniker after running into unexpected opposition last year) to the popular Amber Alert bill (S151/HR1104), which sets up a national system of alerts for kidnapped kids and increases child pornography penalties, while Feeney used the bill to pass a measure to limit the ability of federal judges to grant downward departures in sentences -- a measure not limited to sex crimes against children and much more likely to be used to prevent federal judges from lightening sentences for drug offenders.

The Amber Alert bill passed both chambers this week, with the House approving 400-25 and the Senate approving with a unanimous 98-0 vote Thursday evening.

Under Biden's RAVE Act, anyone who organizes an event or owns a venue where someone uses an illegal drug can be held liable for that drug use. Although expressly crafted and advanced as an attack on the rave culture, the bill's implications are frighteningly broad. It could be used against promoters of hemp fests, rock concert promoters or even -- in theory -- against professional sports franchises if fans are smoking joints in the stands.

Biden first advanced the bill last year, but pressure from a coalition of drug reform, civil liberties, electronic music and business groups led by the Drug Policy Alliance (http://www.drugpolicy.org) and its subsidiary, the Electronic Museum Defense and Education Fund (http://www.emdef.org), peeled off initial supporters and stopped the legislation in its tracks. But in a move demonstrating his mastery of legislative legerdemain, Biden attached his pet project to the Amber Alert bill last week.

A bill that holds people responsible for the drug use of others. In America. Are we really that fuckin' scared of drugs, or is Senator Biden just that power drunk?

Click here to oppose the legislation.

Via the Hit and Run.
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posted by Matt 7:49 PM

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PAY FOR PLAY Much to the NCAA's chagrin, Nebraska legislature has passed a bill allowing universities in the state (which one exactly did they have in mind, I wonder?) to pay its football players:

LINCOLN, Neb. -- A proposal to pay Nebraska football players passed the Legislature on Friday in a reduced form that allows the university to determine which athletes would receive payments.

The bill will apply to all athletes at the university competing in the Big 12 sports, but payments would be at the discretion of the school. Also, the bill would be triggered only if four other states with schools in the Big 12 Conference pass similar laws.
[...]
The NCAA said it was sensitive to Chambers' concerns. However, if Nebraska's players were paid, they would violate the extra-benefits rule and, thus, be ineligible, NCAA spokesman Wally Renfro said in February.

Well, if it doesn't fly with the NCAA, it doesn't fly, unless we're in for a power struggle with some yet to be conceived rogue governing body. But I can't really imagine the changes working in the first place, NCAA approval or not.

First of all, while it's well-lamented that college athletes (and football and basketball players especially) are making big bucks for their school without seeing any of it come their way, I still maintain college athletes are paid already: they get a free education. That's pretty damn good payment, if you ask me.

But let's assume you could pay players; what kind of product are you fostering? The business of sports thrives on parity and competition, which is why the rules forbid paying players to begin with. The NFL is the class of the pro sports world because it shares its television and ad revenues equally among all its teams and clips runaway spending with a salary cap. Major league baseball, on the other hand, is waning in popularity because its lack of a salary cap means one team (like, oh, the Yankees, let's say) can afford to stockpile talent, while smaller-market teams can't even come close. If the Nebraskas and Texases are allowed to use their astronomical sports budgets pay players, how can a smaller school like mine (Southern Miss), who already has problems attracting the best talent, afford to stay anywhere near the same league? And what about even smaller schools, or schools in lower divisions? Most colleges probably couldn't even afford this if they were allowed to do it.

Now I'm for finding ways to allow the players to work (legitimately, not a hand-out job from a booster) or receive some kind of stipend so they can go to the movies when they'd like, but it would have to be done in a fair, universal way. Sports is dead without some degree of parity; unless you want the standings to look the same every year (even more so than they do already), pay for play is a killer proposal.
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posted by Matt 5:14 PM

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YOU WANTED DEMOCRACY... Jesse Walker answers some Iraqi questions about a fundamental tenet of Western democracy:

[An] important part of the transition, of course, is the introduction of a Western-style income tax. Democracy costs money, as do whiskey and sexy. (Indeed, the Whiskey-Sexy Program alone cost an astonishing $44 million last year—most of which, fortunately, has been covered by our friends at DynCorp.) If the new Iraq is ever to be self-sustaining, it must learn the responsibilities as well as the benefits of modern government. The U.S. cannot pay your way forever, especially given our troops' pressing needs in Afghanistan, Syria, Libya, Somalia, Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, Iran, North Korea, Colombia, Venezuela, and Alsace-Lorraine.
[...]
If you have any questions about your taxes, do not hesitate to call us at 1-800-829-1040. Before hiking to the nearest working phone, however, you may wish to consult the following list of frequently asked questions:

Q: My religion forbids charging interest. How should I report such income?

A: If you have conscientious objection to reporting interest income because of your membership and belief in the teachings of a religious sect recognized as being in existence at all times since 622 AD, you are exempt from this requirement, provided you have received IRS approval by filing Form APR.

Q: I am a nomad, and have traditionally held wealth in the form of useful goods rather than money. Will you accept in-kind payments?

A: We have experimented with such a program in occupied Saudi Arabia, where nomadism is more common than in Iraq. Our official policy is to settle transient tribesmen, as they are difficult to monitor. During a two-year transition, however, self-employed Bedouin will be eligible for an alternative flat tax of one fourth of their livestock, attached in an orderly manner to Form WTF.

Q: What is an "audit"?

A: By now you will have heard many unfortunate rumors about the techniques used by the IRS's investigators. Some of the reports in the underground press have been especially inflammatory. We'd like to stress that, contrary to some published accounts, our auditors have not used torture without a proper warrant. Supreme Judge-Regent Dershowitz has been very sparing in issuing these permits, reserving them for deductions so suspicious that he considers them "ticking time-bombs."

Q: I've heard that your President Bush has had to reverse his stateside tax cuts to pay for the War on Terror. Will this affect my taxes as well?

A: Regrettably, it may. However, if you are a U.S.-based subcontractor working to rebuild Iraq, you may be eligible for an exemption. See Form KBR.

Q: How do I qualify for the Kurd Income Tax Credit?

A: Check your adjusted gross income against the tax tables in the back of your booklet. Now ask yourself, Am I Kurdish? If so, you qualify for the credit.

I'm going to identify myself as a "nomad" on my next tax form.
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posted by Matt 1:08 PM

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ICBB'S FIRST TINY PAGEVIEW MILESTONE it could be better... is about to hit the one-thousand pageview mark (on the current counter, in use since February). For those of you who get a few thousand hits a day, that's a pathetic indicator of my amateurism. But for someone like me, who only gets a couple dozen readers a day - mostly from search engines - and no feedback, it's a little boost. At least somebody is reading this.

Here's hoping the next thousand come quicker than the first.
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posted by Matt 12:37 PM

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MORFORD WATCH: FOLLOWING AMERICA'S WORST EMPLOYED COLUMNIST Read today's Morford column - his first all week. What's up Mark? Lube accident? Or maybe he slipped into a coma when he saw the stars and stripes on Sadaam's head.

Iraqis cheering American soldiers? Bush hailed as a liberator? American triumphalism? This doesn't quite fit Mr. Morford's preconceived notions about the war...so it must all be a diversion! Yeah, that's it, a diversion:

Ah, but what are Bush's spoils? Let's look: His copious corporate pals get to rush in and install a nice puppet government to help the baffled Iraqis rebuild their hovels and "manage" their precious oil. There, there, now, Iraq, your brutal dictator is gone. Welcome to rampant capitalism. See if you can tell the difference.

Hmmm...capitalism vs. brutal, torturous, murderous dictatorship...I think they'll be able to tell the difference:

What looked like (and was reported to be) a few thousand young Iraqi men were walking down the highway in civilian clothes, unarmed, with no water or food or anything at all. They said they were former army conscripts who were finally going home, and that they hated Saddam and were thrilled that the U.S. had come and defeated him.

What struck me the most was that they were walking in the hot sunlight, some of them barefoot, not one of them in possession of any food or water, yet they were smiling. They said it was a 7-day walk to their destination.

It's all quite beyond the comprehension of an American girl like me, who's spent her life in utter peace and comparative luxury. I've never once felt as though my freedom was at stake, or that I truly wanted for anything important, such as autonomy, food, shelter, or safety. So I see people who lack all of those things, yet still have smiles on their faces, and all I can say is that I'm proud of them. Happy, excited, and hopeful for them.

I was driving home today from some errands, along a tree-lined street on a beautiful spring day, listening to happy music on the radio and drinking cool, clean bottled water - and I realized how much like paradise that might seem to some people. It's just a tiny slice of my life, but isn't it huge, too?

Thank you, Rachel. Some of us understand.

To be fair, anti-warriors take heart here.
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posted by Matt 12:17 PM

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WHAT DID THE BULL THINK? Seems human cloning is a bit tougher than we thought (sorry, Raelians, we sure don't believe you now), but we're making strides in other species:

Scientists have for the first time created a healthy clone of an endangered species, offering powerful evidence that cloning technology can play a role in preserving and even reconstituting threatened and endangered species.

The clone -- a cattlelike creature known as a Javan banteng, native to Asian jungles -- was grown from a single skin cell taken from a captive banteng before it died in 1980. The cell was one of several that had remained frozen in a vial at the San Diego Zoo until last year, when they were thawed as part of an experimental effort to make cloned banteng embryos.

Scientists transferred dozens of such embryos to the wombs of standard beef cows in Iowa last fall, and the first baby banteng clone was born April 1 after gestating for a standard 91/2 months.

This is, uh, progress. I'm trying to catch the wave of the future, but...a banteng born to a cow? I'm not comfortable with this - I'll articulate a coherent argument someday, hopefully beyond "we've never done this before!"
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posted by Matt 9:19 AM

Thursday, April 10, 2003

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OH, FOR BRILLIANCE, ON TAP As it usually does every few days, the desire to post some long, important essay is driving me crazy, which is a very bad feeling to have when you don't have anything particularly in-depth in mind. It just seems to me, after enough time, it would only make sense that something profound and touching would come out of these fingers and stroke the ego for a few days until the next profound statement comes pouring out - after all, Lileks does it every day. It doesn't quite work that way for the rest of us, does it? These blogs can be frustrating and tedious, hmmm? Maybe I'm just lazy. Maybe = definitely, especially at the moment. I apologize to you, reader, and berate myself for failing to produce on a Proustian level.

I hope that sounded smart.

Anyway, it's farewell and good-night for now. Psychology test in the morning.
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posted by Matt 11:38 PM

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RACISM! It's Race Bait Day at Tongue Tied, where you'll find links to virulent racism here, here, and here. Tsk tsk.

What is this country coming to when a white man can actually make a joke that suggests blacks are generally better than whites at basketball?
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posted by Matt 8:02 PM

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ETERNAL SPRING William Shawcross in the Wall Street Journal:

April 9th--Liberation Day! What a wonderful, magnificent, emotional occasion--one that will live in legend like the fall of the Bastille, V-E Day or the fall of the Berlin Wall. Watching the tearing down of Saddam Hussein's towering statue in Baghdad was a true Ozymandias moment.

It slowly tumbled and, with perfect symbolism, just two rusty pipes were left sticking up from the boots. In the BBC's London studio an Iraqi dissident said though tears, "April 9 is not just spring, it is for Iraqis eternal spring."

Now that's optimism. Hope it turns out to be justified.

Via Arts and Letters Daily, which includes this from the New York Obsever on the modern comedy revolution kicked off by Mort Sahl.
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posted by Matt 7:20 PM

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PICKIN' UP GOOD VIBRATIONS James Lileks is excellent, as usual. Yesterday was just uplifting all around, wasn't it? Let's enjoy the victory before everything turns sour and complicated again.
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posted by Matt 9:01 AM

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OH MY GOD, SARS...SARS!! Freak out, America:

In the U.S., meanwhile, SARS is the only story other than the war in Iraq that has made it onto just about every news broadcast and front page. Even though nobody has died in the U.S. or even, with a single exception, got extremely sick, Americans are worried that this country could be the next major stop on SARS' international grand tour (see box), prompting President Bush to put SARS on the short list of quarantinable diseases last week.

All of this may seem like an overreaction to an illness that is not nearly as deadly as West Nile virus — SARS kills 3.7% of its victims, compared with West Nile's mortality rate of 6.7% last year — and evidently much less contagious than measles or even the flu. "It's the type of disease that seems to require a lot of direct close contact with somebody who's pretty sick," says Dr. Stephen Ostroff, deputy director of the National Center for Infectious Diseases at the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) in Atlanta.

Maybe a slight overreaction. With all the diseases out there...why don't we wait until someone actually gets "extremely sick" before total panic sets in?
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posted by Matt 8:57 AM

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COME TOGETHER Some nice words from Christopher Hitchens:

So I'm glad to extend the hand of friendship to my former antagonists and to begin the long healing process. Perhaps one might start by meeting another of their demands and lifting the sanctions? Now the inspectors are well and truly in, there's no further need for an embargo. I noticed that Kofi Annan this week announced that the Iraqi people should be the ones to decide their own government and future. I don't mind that he never said this before: It's enough that he says it now.

We've seen jubilant Iraqis greeting smiling soldiers all day, and I hope the goodwill extends through the postwar process. It would be easy to stonewall France and Germany and Russia - in children's book terms, they didn't help make the bread - but I'd like to see the U.N. oversee the cleanup. Ride the humanitarian wave; this is no time for grudges. Let's just put those old squabbles behind us, huh? The job's done now, there's no reason we can't be friends again. For our own sake, let's forget about the whole "weasels" business and pull them out a chair.

UPDATE: Join the party!
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posted by Matt 1:10 AM

Wednesday, April 09, 2003

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THANKS, BUT WE'LL HANDLE THAT OURSELVES After 90 years, the Federal Reserve is being challenged by a state (always progressive Nevada) that wants to print its own money.

If Nevada can do it, will others follow suit? Is this a good thing? Or even that big a deal? Anyone with some knowledge of this subject: educate me a little, if you could.

Via the Hit and Run.
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posted by Matt 7:29 PM

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THE OTHER SIXTIES Mark Feeney, on why the radical, far out sixties were even more radical and far out than they're given credit for:

At the distance of 40 years, it's even clearer than at the time the degree to which the decade was defined by change and unpredictability, but the change and unpredictability were so much less constant and predictable than the standard interpretation allows for. Asking questions-and demanding answers-was the glory of the `60s. Failing to ask them-while repeating old answers-is the shame of `60s mythology.

So much of the charm, and even more of the tediousness, of `60s worship (and denigration) has to do with focusing on a small slice of a much larger history and seeing it through Day-Glo-colored glasses. ''The closest Western civilization has come to unity since the Congress of Vienna in 1815,'' the political theorist Langdon Winner once wrote in a review of the Beatles' most famous LP, ''was the week the `Sgt. Pepper' album was released. For a brief while the irreparably fragmented consciousness of the West was unified, at least in the minds of the young.''

But was the `60s as a concept interchangeable with the West and the minds of the young? (Was ''Sgt. Pepper'' even the Beatles' best album?) To see the decade that way is to reduce the `60s from a planetary upheaval to a tremor felt no farther than from Carnaby Street to the Fillmore West. Nobody dropped acid at the Second Vatican Council or during the Great Cultural Revolution, yet surely no other events better demonstrate just how far-reaching the decade's radicalism really was. The enduring marvel of the era is that there was a kind of cultural unity, one that transcended generations and continents-and the release of ''Sgt. Pepper.'' Yet to see the `60s just in terms of the youth movement and the West is both to misrepresent the decade and cheapen it.

Reading about The Sixties always makes me wish I had been around then. Eh, most likely, I'd be disappointed. These turbulent times will be remembered just as well, and what great experiences am I taking from them? Blogging? The collapse of Baghdad on TV this morning will be one, I imagine.

And The White Album was The Beatles' best.

Via Arts and Letters Daily, which also features this on America's existentialist war and this on the huge American - Arab culture gap democracy faces in the Middle East.
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posted by Matt 6:59 PM

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THE BEGINNING OF THE END I've just woken up this morning to a live shot on CNN of a mob in Baghdad destroying a huge statue of Sadaam. They've wrapped a noose around its neck and are taking turns pounding away at its base with a sledgehammer. It's going to be a long job, but that bitch is coming down.

President Bush ordered the initial air strikes exactly three weeks ago today.

Three weeks, and they're tearing down statues in the capital. The anchors have already gauged the importance of the scene - "this is the indelible image of the Iraqi revolution" (and you saw it LIVE on CNN!) - but it's pretty self-evident. The crowd has dispersed to the outer edge of the square to greet passing U.S. military vehicles, and an embed is describing children handing yellow flowers to the soldiers, saying "Bush is good." Three blocks away, they say, is open urban warfare at a university.

A sign of Sadaam has just been hurled to the street and is now being ripped and torn apart and hit by sticks. Another sign of Sadaam is poked through and ripped. "What a megalomaniac," the anchor says. No kidding.

A tank has just driven up to assist the overmatched mob in pulling down the statue. They're climbing on top of the tank, climbing ropes up past the statue's base pedestal to the foot of the giant Sadaam, jumping, yelling. Earlier, the talking heads noted the presence of "all elements of Iraqi life" in the square, from "big muscular guys" to "skinny guys". I think the population is a bit more diverse than that. There are, for example, almost no women present at all - a problem in the future, I imagine. More immediately, there's already looting and snipers.

But for now, the tank carrying all those Iraqis has the rope and is starting to back its way through the growing crowd. They say Dick Cheney has just announced "What you are seeing is the collapse of the central regime authority." A marine has climbed to the top of the statue and momentarily draped an American flag over Sadaam's head; it quickly comes off.

They tie on an Iraqi flag instead.

UPDATE: And down it goes. Are we ready to declare victory? Where is Sadaam in the midst of this chaos?

Meanwhile, William Saletan is warning of the dangers of post-war occupation:

I've been digging up famous quotes about wolves lately, so here's another. In 1864, Abraham Lincoln observed, "The shepherd drives the wolf from the sheep's throat, for which the sheep thanks the shepherd as his liberator, while the wolf denounces him for the same act as the destroyer of liberty." From the sheep's point of view, the trick is to keep the shepherd around long enough to get rid of the wolf but not so long that the shepherd starts to see you as a mutton chop.

How long should our troops stay? Here a negativist answer: Freedom survives where power is checked. The job of American and British troops is to make sure Saddam's thugs are gone. The job of the United Nations is to make sure American and British troops are gone. And the job of the Iraqi people is to set up institutions stable enough to convince all of us that we can get out without having to go back in. If Bush's neocons or Blair's neoliberals hold out for anything better than that, things can get much, much worse.

Yes. But right now, the United States is triumphant - let's only hope they can make it last.
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posted by Matt 9:42 AM

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JACK WHITE ON THE A.V. CLUB Good interview with Jack White at The Onion. I mentioned it when I bought it a few days ago, and I like it even more now that I've listened to it a few more times: Elephant is just a kick-ass album.
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posted by Matt 1:48 AM

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CAMPUS FORUM III This was supposed to be posted Tuesday night, but will show up on Wednesday since my roommate monopolized the internet until 1 a.m on some kind of fantasy computer game.

I attended the third campus panel discussion of the war tonight (unlike the first two forums, it wasn't voluntary - I was covering this one for a story in one of my journalism classes), the first since the war actually began. And it was stale. Not boring, but stale. Same old arguments. Well, same old anti-war arguments; the only pro-war panelist of the five (a lefty homosexual history professor) did a pretty lousy job. I was on the guy's side, but he never formulated a coherent argument for the invasion. Very wishy-washy, especially when questioned by the (almost universally, it seems) anti-war audience. He didn't make much of an effort to tie terrorism to Sadaam, and only hinted at Iraq's threat to "the most sensitive region in the world, and by extension to the United States" (a claim indirectly refuted refuted several times by a more lucid companion, who said Iraq was "not even close" to posing a threat to anyone). He didn't even play the humanitarian card, which for my money is still the strongest in the pro-war hand.

And that's what it amounted to, basically, a kind of game, a debate of "what do you say to that, big boy?", especially when the "just listening" in the audience left during the start of the Q&A and the anti-war majority started to gang up on the poor guy. The old "Bush as Hitler" card even came out, first from an audience member in response to a comment comparing Sadaam to Hitler, then by a feminist panelist ("The heaviest burden of war is carried by women and children"...really? It's not by the soldiers who actually, um, fight? Huh.). Mr. Pro-war was right to call the comparison "like, beyond laughable," but didn't explain why to people who - get this - actually needed the explanation. Seriously. I figured the least he could've done is say "When the protestors are shot and specific ethnicities are rounded up by the millions to be slaughtered for absolutely no reason, Bush is Hitler" for these misguided folks (well intentioned folks, but still...). I don't know why Bush can't just be evil in his own right. Does there have to be a historical reference for every little thing?

Which is not to say the anti-war crowd doesn't make a point or two along the way. Why, for instance, are we planning on spending billions of dollars for aid and helth care in Iraq when there are thousands of hungry and millions of uninsured left to their own devices here in America? I'm against welfare and state-sponsored health care, and I understand a war-torn nation in the midst of widespread poverty isn't the same as the world's foremost economic superpower, but how can I then justify giving those things to the people of Iraq? The food aid is not as much of an issue, since a majority of Iraqis already depend on U.S./U.N. food aid, and we are sort of bombing them, you know, so the least we can do is help them get on their feet again. The medical attention, beyond emergency procedures, which should always be available to anyone who needs them regardless, is a bit stickier for my staunch libertarian, health-care-is-a-commodity perspective. Can I support just giving away medicine or performing free procedures for people halfway around the world when I don't support doing so for my next door neighbors? It's a viable question I've thought about and attempted to justify, but still don't have a good answer for. The best I can do within my values is "emergency only for those who can't pay," which is basically my perspective here at home. I don't feel right about it either way - that's why it's an issue, I guess.

So maybe the forum wasn't a total bust, even if it did go on way too long and my mumbled responses to certain comments probably left the girl next to me thinking I was a psychopath. But I was happy when it was over, which wasn't necessarily the case with the first two forums. Could it be I'm tiring of the war? Say it ain't so! Good thing it looks like it's winding down.

The proper duration of the war being entirely dependent on my personal interest, of course.
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posted by Matt 1:10 AM

Tuesday, April 08, 2003

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WHATCHA IN FOR? Um, lying?

MOUNT STERLING, Iowa (AP) - Lying could be perceived as more than just a character flaw in this southeast Iowa town. It could become a crime.

Four City Council members have proposed an ordinance against fibbing.

Acting Mayor Jo Hamlet said he's tired of the exaggerating that comes with stories in the town of 40 residents famous for its hunting and fishing.
[...]
``We wanted to slow down on this lying,'' Hamlet said this week. ``Plus, I'm bored. ... It's been a long winter.''

What, they don't have cable in Mount Serling?
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posted by Matt 4:11 PM

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CELBDAQ Bill Simmons wishes he could buy stock in things like "Fred Taylor's season will be cut short by a hamstring injury." Well, now he can. Sort of.

The most expensive celebs? Ms Dynamite is currently bringing in twice the price of anyone else. After her, it's Chris Evans and Sadie Frost. And I've never heard of any of these people.
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posted by Matt 2:33 PM

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WHAT ARE YOU MOST AFRAID OF? There's still a chance the legislative fallout from 9-11 could be worse than the attack itself, but Moscow native Cathy Young says America isn't quite turning into the Soviet Union:

Should we be on guard against sacrificing civil liberties to national security? Yes. But despite the panic-mongering, this is still America, and we still have checks and balances. Journalist Steven Brill, whose book After examines post-Sept. 11 America, notes in a Salon interview that judges and legislators, including Republicans, have curbed some of the excesses of John Ashcroft's Justice Department. Brill believes that the government was guilty of civil rights violations in the case of ''American Taliban'' John Walker Lindh; but he also points out the legal system ultimately worked and Lindh was not convicted on the charges of which Ashcroft publicly proclaimed him guilty (such as conspiring to kill Americans).

Measures such as limiting terror suspects' communications with their lawyers in order to prevent potential terrorist acts are controversial, and rightly so. But they are a far cry from Stalinism.
[...]
If tolerance in time of crisis is a measure of America, we are probably more American than ever. The Civil War led to the suspension of basic civil liberties. During World War I—when we had not been attacked on our soil—Congress passed repressive laws under which thousands of war critics were jailed or deported. World War II brought about the internment of Japanese-Americans; the Cold War, the abuses of McCarthyism.

Yes, this is a different America than it was on Sept. 10, 2001. But it wasn't Ashcroft, President Bush, or the Republican Congress who conspired to rob us of our freedom; it was the terrorists. And while we feel less safe and less free than we did before, the terrorists haven't won.

Good to hear some legislators are pushing against the old slippery slope. People always tend to overreact in times of crisis - there wasn't really a need for tighter security laws after 9-11; we already had the laws, they just needed to be enforced. There aren't planes flying into buildings every day. Maybe when we get some distance from it, more people will realize 9-11 was a once-in-a-lifetime tragedy that didn't require withdrawal into a bubble of fear. I hope by then the government hasn't taken irreversible advantage of our paranoia.

Some people are paranoid about one threat, some about another. I tend to be more fearful of the government; it's more likely (historically), and the slippery slope is embedded in my logic. That's where my concerns lie - people more afraid of terrorism obviously have different motivations. Nothing rules like fear, and nothing's easier to take advantage of. If we let our fear govern us, then, yes, the terr...okay, I'm not actually going to write that. But you get the idea.
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posted by Matt 1:58 PM

Monday, April 07, 2003

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NCAA CHAMPIONSHIP DIARY We're all revved up and ready to go from it could be better's secret layer - the computer desk in room 113 of McCarty Hall - with real-time blogging on the NCAA championship game. The cheesy CBS opening is over, the music is cued ("duh-duh-DUH-duh-DUH-DUH-DUH"), and we're off...

8:03 CDT Clark Kellogg directs viewers to "always smiling" Syracuse star Carmello Anthony, who's not smiling.

8:04 Holy shit, the vaunted Syracuse 2-3 zone! Why is Kansas even showing up? Syracuse is running a zone. Obviously, they were running something completely different during all the games they lost this season. I mean, come on - that fucker's inpenetrable. Prediction: Kansas will not score a point.

8:11 I generally hate the outside nonsense the networks always add to the game for no reason, but I fell for the "Which Coach Will Blow It Again?" angle. Williams and Boeheim are such career bridesmaids, it's a shame they can't both choke, for old times' sake. Hell, maybe they can. Prediction - President Bush is assassinated just before tip-off, prompting cancellation of the game and a lifetime of unfulfilled dreams for both coaches.

8:19 An alarming number of dreadlocks in the starting lineups, and headbands too. And- hey- white guys! And I have a hard time believing Kueth Duany is from Bloomington, Inidana. He looks like he just wandered in from the rich Ethipopian dirt fields.

8:20 No word on an assassination attempt on Pres. Bush. Looks like we'll have a winner.

8:22 Kansas scores! Holy crap! What happened to the 2-3 zone? Both of my predicitons have bitten the dust already - why should the tourney start treating me any better now?

8:28 First commercial break, and I realize the Final Four doesn't run any new commercials like the Super Bowl. Same old annoying ads. Bummer.

8:35 Goal-tending! What a strange treat.

8:37 Kansas is already down by 12 and Hinrich just threw up an impatient, panicy three. Uh-oh. The Jayhawks need a TO, baby.

8:44 Okay, does anybody out there not want to see the people in the AutoTrader commercials get creamed by those cars?

8:50 What was the deal with Kansas on Saturday? They were flying up and down the court like wild men...they have zero fast break points so far tonight. Syracuse isn't that much better than Marquette.

8:53 Continuing my SUV rant from earlier today, I'd tell Chevy TrailBlazer to go to hell, but it's already driving there in the commercials.

9:15 A CBS War Update: "Here are brothers and sons dying and blowing up other brothers and sons in the name of your country's safety. Enjoy the rest of the game." Um, thanks.

9:24 Oh, they saved the weepy "Whose Career Will Be Validated?" shit for halftime. Time to make popcorn.

9:37 Uh oh...the Kansas fast break is coming alive. SU's lead's down to six. It's getting interesting...make it four.

9:55 Now we reach the point in the game when it's either close (1-5 point difference) and we're looking at a great finish, or one team's in front to stay, even if it's too close to close the book. It's the Orangemen by nine right now, and they've already weathered the Jayhawks' best shot. Kansas will stay in it, make it interesting, but get ready to break out the riot gear in Syracuse.

10:09 Carmello Anthony has grabbed his back four or five times in the last few minutes. Why is Syracuse even remaining on the floor? What chance do they have if Carmello Anthony is clutching his back?

10:13 Aw, Nick Collison wears his grandfather's initials on his shoes. Meanwhile, he's 3-10 at the line in a nine-point game.

10:20 Okay, KU's got it back down to five with 2:35 to go. Still a chance for a decent finish.

10:23 Hey - 1:00 left, one score game. We're goin' down to the wire! If Kansas could make a free throw, they'd be in the driver's seat.

10:28 Collison fouls out. Duany goes to the line with 24 seconds trying to make it a two posession game. Misses the first. Hits the second. Three-point game. Hinrich three at the other end rims out, rebound by Syracuse with 13.5 seconds left.

10:30 SU misses both free throws - a three ties it for Kansas. KU attempt is swatted out of bounds. .7 seconds left...now they'll add some time to make it 1.5. One shot left for KU...no good. Syracuse wins. Nice finish.

10:33 It doesn't get much better than watching people pile on top of each other in jubilation, does it? Look out for the men in the black masks, Syracuse!

10:45 Awkward trophy presentation time. NCAA President Miles Brand immediately stutters two words into his speech. Hey, that's it? "On behalf of the NCAA, I'd like to congratulate the Syracuse Orangemen and their coach, Jim Boeheim." Hand over the trophy. Boeheim looks like somebody's handing him a fruitcake. I've worked my whole career for this and I get that lame presentation? I don't even get to make the completely arbitrary, totally unprovable and insignificant claim that our fans are the best in the world? What a gyp.

10:54 Alright! Interview with the losing coach. Okay, all the usual nonsense...okay, he's getting a little upset at the constant questioning about leaving for North Carolina...whoa! He says "shit" on the air! Whoo!! Go Coach Williams! Cut to Greg Gumbel, who's going to act like nothing unusual happened. High comedy.

10:58 Luther Vandross. One Shining Moment. You're running for your life...you're a shooting star... I, um, spilled a little saltwater on my cheek. No really, just let me get a handkerchief...
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posted by Matt 8:10 PM

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BINGE EATING? Don't worry - you have absolutely no responsibility for your actions:

The next time you just can't help eating the entire carton of ice cream in a single sitting, take heart in this new scientific research: Blame your genes, not your feeble willpower.

That's the word from a new Swiss-German-American joint study published in The New England Journal of Medicine that makes the strongest case yet that genetic mistakes can cause an eating disorder. Our society has long viewed eating behavior as cultural. That is, if we eat too much, it's our own darn fault. Maybe not. Eating problems could be the result of a subtle interconnection between lifestyle and multiple genes, reports The Associated Press.

Binge-eating is the most common eating disorder, affecting some 4 million Americans, according to the National Institutes of Health. Binge-eaters frequently and compulsively stuff themselves with food, sometimes in secret.

"Willpower is not always important to reduce weight. Some people can [do it] by willpower. Some cannot, and I think these patients have a hard time," Dr. Fritz Horber, the leader of the binge-eating study at the Hirslanden Clinic in Zurich, Switzerland, told AP.

I'm so pissed at my genes for undermining the logical decision making capabilities of my brain, I'm going to ignore all medical advice and eat this entire box of cookies. Yeah, I know it's not good for me, but it's not like I have a choice; it's genetic!

"Willpower is not always important to reduce weight"? Are you kidding me?
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posted by Matt 4:21 PM

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Kansas student Erin at Weird is Good is understandably excited about KU's big win over Marquette Saturday and tonight's championship game. I posted a comment asking about potential riots in Lawrence tonight.

My old roommate used to have a theory: anarchist groups would travel to college campuses whose school was playing in a major championship event and incite riots in the rowdy (and possibly drunk) crowds. Supposedly, he's seen some kind of documentary on this, or had spotted suspicious guys in black masks or something in videos of campus riots. I like to trumpet this theory just 'cause it sounds cool. Maybe I'll use it in a story or something someday. If I ever write a story.

So Erin, if you see some guys in black masks hanging around campus, you know what to do.

Light the torches.

By the way, I'll be doing a live blog duing the game tonight, sort of a running diary on the proceedings from pre-game to One Shining Moment. Just 'cause I have nothing better to do. Well, I do, actually, but I'm going to ignore it.
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posted by Matt 3:35 PM

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LIBRARIANS WITH SHREDDERS Good name for a rock band? No, the actions of some libraries to protest the Patriot Act:

"It used to be a librarian would be pictured with a book," said Ms. Snider, the branch manager, slightly exasperated as she hunched over the wastebasket. "Now it is a librarian with a shredder."

Actually, the shredder here is not new, but the rush to use it is. In the old days, staff members in the nine-branch Santa Cruz Public Library System would destroy discarded paperwork as time allowed, typically once a week.

But at a meeting of library officials last week, it was decided the materials should be shredded daily.

"The basic strategy now is to keep as little historical information as possible," said Anne M. Turner, director of the library system.

The move was part of a campaign by the Santa Cruz libraries to demonstrate their opposition to the Patriot Act, the law passed in the wake of the Sept. 11 attacks that broadened the federal authorities' powers in fighting terrorism.

Among provisions that have angered librarians nationwide is one that allows the Federal Bureau of Investigation to review certain business records of people under suspicion, which has been interpreted to include the borrowing or purchase of books and the use of the Internet at libraries, bookstores and cafes.
[...]
"I am more terrified of having my First Amendment rights to information and free speech infringed than I am by the kind of terrorist acts that have come down so far," Ms. Turner said.

Good woman. Don't let fear rule the mind, or you'll really have something to be afraid of.
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posted by Matt 3:26 PM

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MORFORD WATCH: FOLLOWING AMERICA'S WORST EMPLOYED WRITER Mark doesn't have a column today, but his e-mail newsletter mockingly directs readers to this site, which turns out to be quite disturbing.
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posted by Matt 3:02 PM

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RETURNING THE MIDDLE FINGER TO SUVS Rob Walker on Hummer's annoying new ads:

But to think that either Hummer dealers or potential buyers would be somehow embarrassed is to misunderstand the brand. People who drive enormous, angry, military-style vehicles around city streets are never embarrassed. The whole point of the Hummer is a total—and aggressive—disregard for what anyone else thinks. As Gregg Easterbrook put it recently in the New Republic, the Hummer broadcasts such a blatant "fuck you" to the rest of the world that it ought to be considered a new vehicle class, the FUV. But don't take my word for it; just watch the ads. In their skillful articulation of the brand's core identity (that is, indifference to the mores of a civil society), they must be considered master works.

Actually, I think hummers - and all SUVs - are very in tune to what other people think. They may thrive on a "fuck you" mentality, but that's exactly the kind of rebellious mentality too many people want to display to win friends and influence people. It's about independence, freedom, and - most of all - power; nobody wants to be friends with some needy weakling who shows restraint. How boring.

Who needs mobility and vision of their surroundings and decent gas mileage and the ability to park without backing up twenty times? Not me! Reject gaudy, trendy status symbols? Ha! Maybe I'll just run my status symbol right over your ass. And I will, too, because I don't care what you think. How 'bout that, huh? I'm my own badass.

Do you love me now?
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posted by Matt 12:15 PM

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CAUTION OR GUSTO We Americans tend to have a more adventurous approach to change than Europeans, and usually for the better; genetics and biotechnology are no exception:

If you debate the new genetics in Europe and America these days you get asked the same question in two different ways. The average European says, with dread: "How do we stop people doing x?" The average American says with excitement: "When will I be able to do x?" For x, read "test myself for future dementia risk," "change my unborn children's genes," or even "fill my blood vessels with nano-robots to enable me to live to 150".

To the jaded European palate, the American attitude seems silly and irresponsible. Caution should be the watchword for all new technology. I beg to differ. I think the American optimism is necessary and responsible. It is the European pessimists who are in danger of causing real harm. Caution has risks, too.
[...]
For the past century the world has got steadily better for most people. You do not believe that? I am not surprised. You are fed such a strong diet of news about how bad things are that it must be hard to believe they were once worse. But choose any statistic you like and it will show that the lot of even the poorest is better today than it was in 1903. Longevity is increasing faster in the poor south than in the rich north. Infant mortality is lower in Asia than ever before. Decade by decade per-capita food production is rising.

Here at home, we are healthier, wealthier and wiser than ever before. Pollution has declined; prosperity increased; options opened.

All this has been achieved primarily by that most hated of tricks, the technical fix. By invention, not legislation.

My point? Simply this: if you asked intellectuals at almost any time since Malthus to talk about the future, they would have been pessimistic and they would have been wrong. The future (actual) has consistently proved better than the future (forecast).

Hmmm...whenever I start to have my pessimistic, Euro-style doubts about genetic technology, maybe I just need to tell myself, technology is your friend, technology is your friend...
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posted by Matt 12:40 AM

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GLOBAL WARMING: NORMAL EARTH CYCLE? I'm not going to declare myself a global warming mythologist - becasue I know zip about the subject, when you get right down to it - but this article "puts the claims of environmentalists into context":

Claims that man-made pollution is causing "unprecedented" global warming have been seriously undermined by new research which shows that the Earth was warmer during the Middle Ages.
[...]
The findings prove that the world experienced a Medieval Warm Period between the ninth and 14th centuries with global temperatures significantly higher even than today.

They also confirm claims that a Little Ice Age set in around 1300, during which the world cooled dramatically. Since 1900, the world has begun to warm up again - but has still to reach the balmy temperatures of the Middle Ages.

The timing of the end of the Little Ice Age is especially significant, as it implies that the records used by climate scientists date from a time when the Earth was relatively cold, thereby exaggerating the significance of today's temperature rise.

According to the researchers, the evidence confirms suspicions that today's "unprecedented" temperatures are simply the result of examining temperature change over too short a period of time.

Like we're all so worried about global warming anyway.
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posted by Matt 12:24 AM

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LAZY LINKING Did an interview with my grandmother for my Mississippi History class today, which took hours to prepare for and execute, then had to drive back to school. No time for blogging. Plus I just didn't feel like it. So read some quick highlights from other fine bloggers instead:

*Alphecca on the cloudy reasoning of Terence P. Jeffrey's WaPo op-ed on the Texas sodomy case in the Supreme Court,

*Bo Cowgill links to two stories from WarFilter; the French and Russians are deploying troops and weapons to the Persian Gulf (the former is in French, so the headline is really all I have to go by),

*Lily at The Kitchen Cabinet wonders what's up with daylight savings time:

What's the deal with daylight savings time? When I was young, I thought it was such a bizarre event -- we're going along fine, and then all of a sudden we scramble around and change our clocks, skip an hour, and keep going. An entire sixty minutes disappears, and everybody just pretends it didn't happen.

And nowadays you barely even have to change your clocks, because they do it for you. My computer doesn't even ask my permission; neither does my VCR. I want my hour back! When is some brave person going to say, "No! An hour ago it was 2:00; don't tell me it's now 4:00!"

Lily also posts the final standings in the Cabinet's NCAA tournament pool; I finished a disappointing 9th out of 13 after my late round rally was shredded in the Elite Eight,

*Spooky from the Bitch Girls actually blogs about an IM, um, conversation she and I (and, for a little while, Bitter) had Friday night over Bowling for Columbine (I didn't hate it - again, I apologize). Also, check out the Bitches' new digs.

Go and be enriched.
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posted by Matt 12:02 AM

Saturday, April 05, 2003

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WORD TO THE WISE The The White Stripes' new album is everything it's cracked up to be. A must-own. One of the best pure rock 'n roll albums I've ever heard.
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posted by Matt 10:36 PM

Friday, April 04, 2003

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A message from the director of the British Studies program I'm taking advantage of in July ("the premier study abroad program in the world," run right here out of Southern Miss, they say) just arrived in my in-box:

Fellow Globetrotters,

This is a message from your fearless leader. For those of you who do not know me as yet, my name is Dr. Andrew Wiest and I teach Military History at the University of Southern Mississippi. I lead the World War II course on the British Studies Program -- in fact the best course on the program. I tell you what -- we are in for a fun summer, and a summer in which you actually learn something!

You are to be congratulated. You have signed up for the premier study abroad program in the world and (of course) were wise enough to choose the best course on said program. YOU get to spend five weeks in near about the coolest city on earth -- London. It has everything, plays, pubs, history, palaces, great food, pubs, museums, Londoners, left-handed driving, dancing and pubs. It is just a wonderful city to explore and experience. On this program you will have plenty of time to get to know the great city and we will help you do it with everything from Historic London Walks to Literary Pub Crawls. Experience London and then go out and experience Europe too - you now officially have the time and the opportunity.

On to the course. As you can see from the attached syllabus we explore the greatest event of the twentieth century (World War II) from a
European perspective. We have the very best lecturers to give talks on all aspects of the war from the Blitzkrieg on France to the Holocaust
and everything in between. So we have some good old style learning in classrooms from the very best and brightest in the field. However, we are in London -- so we will learn other ways as well. You will have to write a research paper (BOO!). But it is a paper with a difference. You do not write the paper in London, for you will be far too busy exploring the wonderful city. You do the research for the paper on designated days (see syllabus). You pick a topic that you want to do and then you go to the sources themselves -- not to books. If you want to write on Churchill you use his papers in the Public Record Office. If you want to write on women and the war you use their diaries in the Imperial War Museum. In short your paper will be based on the papers of those who made history, rather than just reading history in a book. It might sound scary now, but nearly all of the students on the program wind up having this become one of their favorite things.

Finally to the best part. We go to the places where history happened (again see the syllabus). We wander around the Imperial War Museum clambering on Tiger Tanks. We go to Duxford and watch Sptifires take to the skies. We go to Cambridge and punt down the fabled river. We go to Parliament and stand where Churchill once stood where modern democracy was born. We also go to Normandy for four days to walk in the footsteps of the "Greatest Generation." We will splash ashore at Omaha Beach, we will go to the paratroop drop zones, we will stand among the dead of the war in moving cemeteries, we will fight through the hedgerows on Hill 192 and we will stand where the SS made their final bid for freedom and were destroyed. It is a trip like no other. Also we will be in quaint northern France -- and visit the cafes and cathedrals of the area. Get ready for a life changing experience.

As you can see from the e-mail addresses we are a diverse group from all over the US. Some are advanced history grad students and others have not had a class in history beyond the freshman required courses. Each of us will bring different strengths and weaknesses to the table, but by the end we will become a close knit group. British Studies and Normandy veterans as it were.

Please note that the attached syllabus is tentative -- some of the days might get shifted but this is pretty close to the real thing. From now on expect regular communication from me giving you more and more detail on how to get ready for the experience of a lifetime. Please do not hesitate to contact me with any questions you might have. It is my duty to make certain that you have the best possible experience this summer. You are paying (or your parents are paying) a lot of money to be with
us. I take that very seriously.

Welcome aboard,

Andrew (D-Day) Wiest
Professor of History

I have to say, I'm getting pretty psyched for this trip.
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posted by Matt 2:04 PM

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SINGLING OUT SPORTS Bill Simmons - my non-fiction idol, for being a sports encyclopedia who's way too entertaining for the by-the-book field of sportswriting - wonders why sportswriters and commentators have to fall all over themselves to put sports in perspective for us:

Yup ... sports junkies are the ones who require an intervention. Forget about everyone who watches Are You Hot? or purchases R. Kelly's latest album or cheers Roman Polanski's Oscar win. Because fans spend so much time staring at games and box scores, caring for fantasy teams, arguing with friends, maybe even wagering on some events, only death and destruction can put it all in perspective for us. Wait, just so I have this straight: When people die, when things blow up-that's more important than my NCAA pool? Thanks for clearing that up.

Sportswriters craft columns around such sobering angles probably because it makes them feel better about themselves. Maybe it even helps them to justify their existence, like they'd attend law school or take over dad's business if only they could do it all over again. Alas, they devoted their careers to sports -- a trivial pursuit, as it turns out -- and they can't stop apologizing for it. So, while they wrestle their demons, they try to make us miserable. And underestimate our collective intelligence in the process.

Here's my question: How many people can't put sports in perspective? After all we've endured over the years -- from ticket prices soaring into the stratosphere to athletes disappointing us in increasingly peculiar ways -- is there an adult fan who hasn't seen the light?

I'll say this now, and I'll probably say it again: There's nothing worse in sports than the human interest angle. Whether it's a player's autistic kid or a coach's wife with cancer or somebody's brother in the war...we don't care. We understand it's important to those people, but if it's not big enough to shut the game down, then let's forget it for a little while and compete and have some fun. That's what we're tuned in for, not some soap opera. Screw the pregame crap and the personal chats. Just play.
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posted by Matt 1:28 PM

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MORFORD WATCH: FOLLOWING AMERICA'S WORST EMPLOYED WRITER Today Mark asks "Who Cares About Dead Iraqis?," as if no one but himself does:

Just another irritating little side effect, doncha know, of forcibly liberating a people who didn't really ask to be liberated and who are pretty much getting reamed from both ends and aren't exactly rushing out into the streets by the grateful thousands, as we had expected (except, finally, some in Najaf -- whew!) to toss flowers at the wide-eyed and confused U.S. troops and our well-armed Christian God and His almighty Starbucks franchises.

It always come back to Christian demagoguery (or its stepchild, sexual repression) with Mark. Conservatives are always "sneering" or "black-eyed". Supporting the war equals supporting SUVs and Starbucks. The writing is always clumsy and rambling. Come on, Mark, throw us a curve every now and then!
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posted by Matt 1:11 PM

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TOBACCO SUITS BURNING STATES Daniel Gross on states' addictions to big tobacco:

Cigarettes, even more than being effective vehicles for nicotine delivery, are effective vehicles for revenue delivery to governments large and small. Income taxes, excise taxes, and funds paid under the 1998 settlement between Big Tobacco and the states add up to billions upon luscious billions every year. But now the Illinois lawsuit threatens the golden (or perhaps nicotine-stain-yellow) goose. This is separation of powers at work: State legislatures are spending so much tobacco cash that they now need the industry to stay profitable, even as state courts are issuing rulings to cripple it.
[...]
But in an odd sense, the 1998 settlement—which was regarded as a huge victory for the states—has helped Big Tobacco turn the tables on its legal tormenters. Now that they've tied their fiscal health to the demon weed, the states have an interest in ensuring that Altria and its confreres lead long and healthy lives.

The lawsuits were ridiculous anyway, for putting the responsibility for consumers' poor health on the industry rather than the consumers who willfully bought their legal product, and now the states have backed themselves right into the same corner. The same governments that produce those lame anti-smoking ads (with plenty of help from the tobacco companies - wink, wink) wants you to buy cigarettes. Their health has become dependent on you ruining yours - don't expect state-run health care anytime soon (not that we need it).

If the government wants a new demon weed to tax, why doesn't it just try, oh, I don't know, marijuana?
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posted by Matt 12:22 PM

Thursday, April 03, 2003

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STUPID WHITE MAN I'm planning on checking out Bowling for Columbine later at the dollar theater on campus, to see what the fuss is about. I'll check back later with a quasi-review if I do.

UPDATE: Okay, saw it, and I have to ask both sides, what's the big deal? The premise of the movie was too many people are killed by guns in America and that's a shame. What's to disagree with?

Maybe that's an oversimplification. But the guy wasn't out there preaching socialist confiscation; he's a life-long member of the NRA and made it pretty clear (to me anyway) he believes the Second Amendment gives people the right to arm themselves. Gun control never came up. Moore was as tough on Clinton for needlessly bombing Kosovo (in a benign recurring point, he noted the Columbine massacre coincided with the heaviest day of NATO bombing in Kosovo) as he was on Bush for jacking up military spending and encouraging a culture of fear (which is really more self-imposed due to the 9-11 freakout). Talk about a misrepresentation.

BFC's no masterpiece - the K-Mart sequence was weak (even though the store actually caved and agreed to stop selling ammo after he "confronted" them with two Columbine survivors), the misrepresentations surrounding the NRA rallies were well-publicized, the "History of America" was funny but misguided, and it presented no cause or solution to the problem it tried to exploit - but the central question is an intriguing one: Why, when guns are available in other free countries, most of which have longer histories of violence than America, are the number of gun fatalities so much higher here? I won't take Moore's numbers as sacrosanct, but there's no question the gun deaths in the United States are absolutely astronomical in comparison to the rest of the free world. So what is it about our culture that makes our country so fearful and/or violent? Canadiens are essentially as gun-loving as we are, and none of the Canadiens interviewed even locked their doors, even though several of them had been robbed in the past. What's up with us?

One thing the film can't be accused of is being boring, and that's something to be said for a "documentary." Most of the sequences dealt with issues we're all familiar with - some gun nuts are, you know, nuts, most aren't, the U.S. government hasn't always acted in the most humanitarian way possible in the past (the much-maligned Wonderful World sequence), the American media thrives on filling viewers with fear, and of the wrong things (I really like the "Corporate COPS" pitch), we still have a few racial insecurities to work out - but it did it all in a pretty entertaining way.

I'm not trying to defend Moore, because he generally pisses me off, but you have to hand it to him for making a thought-provoking and entertaining film, even if it doesn't fully explore all its implications, and even if he did give the stupidest Oscar speech of all time. At least he was able to be there because he's never raped a teenager.

By the way, Heston was wrong to walk away during the balleyhooed interview that closed the film. Moore was a little too pious after the fact (where the dead girl picture came out), but the actual dialogue with Heston was pretty fair - C.H. ducked the questions, and he didn't have to. The president of the NRA should be able to answer a few 'why?' questions about himself and the position he's defending without walking out of the proceedings.

So, basically, I, uh, I kind of liked it. Sorry.

Should I feel bad for feeling the need to apologize for my taste?
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posted by Matt 6:48 PM

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MORE VILE TERRORISM I'm not a big fan of anti-war protesters, but this is a bit much. A little more than a bit, actually.
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posted by Matt 2:10 PM

Wednesday, April 02, 2003

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REASON BOUNTY reason is loaded with goodness today: there's Cathy Young on WWII-era Russian satire and how it relates to the war in Iraq; Ronald Bailey on the prospect of French Jews fleeing to America in the face of growing French anti-semitism and the freedom of genetic enhancement; and Jesse Walker on Tony Blair, torn between Europe and America.

Also check out the Hit and Run for links to Germany's about-face and the push to Baghdad.
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posted by Matt 9:42 PM

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IT'S BEEN TWO WEEKS ALREADY Add Samizdata to the list of those fed up with journalists who ask "why is it taking so long?":

Where are the pundits with a real perspective? Why not a comparison with Omaha beach at +14 days? I've not time to check the numbers right now, but I know as a certainty there were more Americans dead in the first hour of the landing than we have lost in the entire war in Iraq to date. There may even have been more dead getting out the door of a single landing craft but I cannot prove that without research that would be very costly in terms of billeable time.

We certainly had not reached Paris in two weeks. If you turn things around and look at the opening days of Blitzkrieg after the end of the "Phoney War" period, not even France fell in two weeks of fighting.

One might look at the time and cost in lives of Iwo Jima, a tiny and otherwise rather useless spec on the Pacific map. A thousand US Marines died in the first wave. More followed. The surf ran red with American blood, bodies and body parts filled the surf like jelly fish. It took a very long bloody fight before that dismal spec was secured. It was not a job of hours or days.

The instant a journalist asks the question "Why is it taking so long?", I write off their intellect as nonexistant. I read the DOD press briefing transcripts and I see these moronic queries on a daily basis. I know such people are full of self-importance. I doubt they realize we are actually laughing at them.

Of course they don't, probably because not enough people actually are.
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posted by Matt 2:26 PM

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RENAISSANCE MAN Hart Seely examines the subtle poetry of D.H. Rumsfeld:

A Confession
Once in a while,
I'm standing here, doing something.
And I think,
"What in the world am I doing here?"
It's a big surprise.

—May 16, 2001, interview with the New York Times

There's much more.

UPDATE: Michael Kinsley gets cute too, with this Onion-style take off on the lead page one headline of today's USA Today. In these fictitious times, it's good to see Slate laugh it up.
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posted by Matt 2:02 PM

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MORFORD WATCH: FOLLOWING AMERICA'S WORST EMPLOYED WRITER What cures America's ills? Why, sodomy, of course!

All of which makes the ultimate irony even more, well, ironic. The truism remains: Those who fear and tremble and fret and clutch their Bibles and their ideologies the most when sodomy is mentioned are the very ones who could, of course, most benefit from it. As the saying goes, it's not just a punch line, it's a fact.

And a very well-stated, scientifically proven one at that, huh? Hell, we sodomy-frownin' states are no better than the Taliban:

Lest we begin to think we are the land of the free and home of the libidinously brave. Lest we begin to think our sexually bewildered nation doesn't still harbor elements of snarling puritanical fundamentalist thinking, not really all that different in tone and pitch and implied hatred than, oh, say, Iraq. Or Saudi Arabia. Or the Taliban. You don't think so? Look again.

After all, there is a fine line between a Taliban "freedom fighter" beating a woman for displaying an ankle in public and a macho frat guy in Arkansas who would crush the skull of a gay man who accidentally flirted with him in a bar.

A fine line between a sermon and a murder, between the "macho frat guy" who makes half-assed jokes about crushing skulls and the "freedom fighter" who actually does it? That's a fine line a hundred miles wide. As Bill Maher says, their wackos are a whole lot worse than our wackos, and there's a whole lot more of them.

And now a quick, defensive rant from one of the red-votin' states:

For someone who's grown up in a deeply religious family in the Deep South, the thought that anyone could actually compare us with tyrants and murderers, or still believe we ("we" as in "Deep South religious types" in general, not necessarily me personally or my family) are "pro-violence,""anti-outsider,""desperately fearful of the different," or want "women and minorities in their place" is mind-boggling. We aren't "the most homogenic" or "the least culturally diverse;" for most of Mississippi's history, "minorities" have made up the majority of the state's residents, which sure can't be said for the lily-white Northeast. To clue you in who didn't know: it ain't 1954. We have gay bars, we have abortion clinics, we have strip clubs and porno shops, Unitarian Universalist churches and Buddhist temples, punks, freaks, goths and even a few anti-war protestors. They don't get picketed or vandalized or firebombed. We don't hold workshops on sex, we don't revere it as an "artform," we don't believe it holds any special powers for the proliferation of peace, but do we like it? Yes. I mean, Hell Yeah! If Mr. Morford imagines we "fear and tremble and fret" when sodomy - or any other "abomination" - is mentioned, he needs a better imagination. Because frankly, we don't give a damn.

How's that for imagination?
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posted by Matt 1:54 PM

Tuesday, April 01, 2003

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PIQUANCE I do not now nor have I ever held the slightest bit of interest in Al Gore or the Dixie Chicks, but I am interested in Rachel Lucas's best post ever.
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posted by Matt 4:18 PM

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DOWN WITH LANGUAGE FACISM Andy Lamey on what I'll refer to as "Language Nazis":

Language bullying -- or prescriptivism, as it's more politely called -- is conservative in the worst sense. It advances a stuffy and old-fashioned view of language, the rules of which it considers set by supposed experts, such as the authors of grammar books, rather than common usage. It is deeply anti-populist and snobby, not to mention just plain wrong and cranky. There are good reasons to criticize Bush. But holding his -- or anyone else's -- grammar to dubious standards isn't one of them.
[...]
I suspect many of Bush's critics would want to avoid the distasteful varieties of prescriptivism that amount to little more than "white speech good, black speech bad." But once we "go nuclear" on "nucular," it's hard to see how different we are from prescriptivists who sneer at the inventiveness of non-standard English. Lots of people other than Bush say "nucular." It even follows its own rhetorical logic, grafting on to "nuclear" the common ending found in "particular" and "spectacular." When a phrase meets those conditions, I'd say it's no longer a matter of blunt right and wrong, but standard and non-standard. And that difference is best captured in the linguist's quip that a language is a dialect with a navy.

Webster's says this:

Most importantly, spoken language is primary, not written language. Speaking is not the act of translating letters into speech. Rather, the opposite is true. Writing is a collection of symbols meant to represent spoken language. It is not language in and of itself. Many written languages (Spanish, Dutch, etc.), will regularly undergo orthographic reforms to reflect changes in the spoken language. This has never been done for English (the spelling of which has never been regularized in the first place), so what we use for written language is actually largely based on the spoken language of several centuries ago.

All of the entries in our dictionary (pronunciation, meanings, etc.) are based on usage. We have an extensive collection of files which date back to the 19th century. Language is changing all of the time in all respects, and any dictionary which purports to be an accurate description of the language in question must be constantly updated to reflect these changes. All words were pronounced differently at some time in the past. There is simply no scholarly basis for preferring one pronunciation over another. To not list all pronunciation variants would be irresponsible and a failure of our mission to provide a serious, scholarly, record of the current American English language. (emphasis added)

Too much common language is dismissed by class arrogance: y'all (you all) and even a'ight (all right) are perfectly valid contractions, constructed exactly the same way as aren't, isn't, let's, we'll, etc., and even ain't (merely a perverted pronunciation of the "accepted" contraction 'isn't') is widely used enough and understood well enough to qualify as a "normal" contraction for the open-minded. A majority of our words are gradual perversions of the original pronunciation; for example, 'knight' is spelled the way it is because it was once pronounced that way (kuh-NEEGKT, using the harsh German "cough" for the second syllable). Over time it morphed into "nite", but the spelling remained the same - are we, therefore, prounouncing it incorrectly today? More recently, what the hell kind of word was 'cool' or 'super' in the 1950s? The same kind of word "fly" or "phat" is today, of course. In thirty years, our grandchildren will want to hang with the "phat kids" ("hang with," another common phrase that would have been incomprehensible in World War II). It takes time, but society always incorporates slang words and pronuncitations into "proper" language, which is why it makes no sense to crinkle your nose at anyone else's speech, as long as it's communicable.

Tolerate slang and popular "mispronunciations" - the entire culture will be speaking that way soon without a second thought.

For more on the spelling and pronunciation disparity and the evolution of spoken language, click here.
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posted by Matt 2:06 PM

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MORE ON IRAQI TERROR Most skeptics, even more hawkish types like myself, have challenged the Saddam-al Qaeda connection as the weakest link in Bush's case for war. But Edward Jay Epstein, both in his ongoing Slate dialogue with Daniel Benjamin and on his personal site, makes a convincing case for Iraqi involvement in state-sponsored terrorism:

Let me make the case that the government of Iraq has been involved in state-sponsored terrorism, as it is defined by the U.S. government, for over a decade. As director of counterterrorism for the National Security Council in the Clinton administration, you know that Secretary of State Albright had good reason for including Iraq among the seven countries designated as state sponsors of international terrorism in 2000.

Iraq, through its intelligence service, has attempted to sponsor or facilitate a number of covert attacks against U.S. interests. There were, for example, Iraq's sponsorship of a car-bombing attempt in 1993 to assassinate former President Bush in Kuwait City, Iraq's sponsorship in 1998 of the attempted recruitment of car bombers to destroy the headquarters building of Radio Free Europe in Wenceslas Square in the historic center of Prague, and Iraq's provision of fake identity papers and safe haven to two of the key figures in the 1993 truck bombing of the World Trade Center in New York.

Epstein goes into considerably more detail on each event here.

Benjamin responds with doubts over al-Qaeda's role in these instances (Epstein's only link from Iraq to a 9/11 hijacker is speculative), and the connection remains weak in my mind too. But we're not just going after al-Qaeda, we're going after all terrorists, and Epstein's evidence is persuasive enough for me to lump Iraq into that category. Not that I'm the toughest sell on this issue, but still. Now humanitarianism isn't my only valid justification for war.
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posted by Matt 12:35 PM

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THANKS For the link and mention, to Alphecca, yet another gay gun nut in Vermont. I'll be adding him to the 'kind blogs' list as soon as Blogger straightens itself out and allows me to do so.
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posted by Matt 12:03 PM

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WOKE UP, FELL OUT OF BED, LOGGED ON TO BLOG WHAT'S IN MY HEAD Cable is out for some reason this morning, and so I had to go online to check the weather (I'll need a jacket now, but I'll have to take it off later). Yes, I could have just stuck my head out the window, or my hand at least, but that would mean, like, moving the blinds and turning the little locks and lifting the window and junk. Puh-leeze! The real point here is, it's refreshing to have the internet at my beck and call in my own home again. That's easy to take for granted, and it's probably the best feature of moving back into the dorms. I'm not restricted to computer lab hours anymore! Now, if I could only get back in a home where there's not rap bass echoing down the hall at 8:30 a.m...
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posted by Matt 8:56 AM

WHAT THEY'RE SAYING ABOUT ICBB: ''O! How I have search'd for thee, and wander'd hither so! Methinks my resolve hath been fruitful. 'It Could Be Better', thou art bitchin''' - William Shakespeare "This Matt guy has totally missed the point..." - G Joe Walberg "ICBB is the greatest site on the whole interweb!" - Brad

Past
current.

e-mail it could be better... at itcouldbealotbettertoo@yahoo.com

The Student Printz

I'm a Crawly Amphibian

Who are you?

What do you think?

The 2004 Candidates

You may say you hate it, but you love it

Does anybody really know what time it is?

ICBB COMMANDS YO TO CHECK OUT THESE KIND BLOGS:

Alphecca

BrykMantra

campus press notes

Franklin Harris

Tom McMahon

Mookie Riffic

The Noble Pundit

Signifying Nothing

Steve Silver

Jeremy Wahlman

A FEW MISCELLANEOUS BLOG FAVORITES:

The Bitch Girls

Hit and Run

James Lileks

Talking Points Memo

Tony Pierce

Neal Pollack

Saddam's Cyber Palace

Jim Treacher

SOME LUSCIOUS LIBERTARIANS:

Daniel Drezner

Jane Galt

The Kolkata Libertarian

The Liberty Log

Light of Reason

Virginia Postrel

Sara Rimensnyder

Samizdata

The Volokh Conspiracy

Jesse Walker

Matt Welch

OKAY, BEGRUDGINGLY, A LEFTY OR TWO:

Daily Kos

Eschaton

Lean Left

The Lefty Directory

little red cookbook

Tom Tomorrow

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Stuart Buck

Gaggle of Gals

Juan Gato

Happy Fun Pundit

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Hot Sandwich

I Hate Music

The Illmatic's Live Journal

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Instapundit

Isntapundit

The Kitchen Cabinet

Simone Koo

Mean Mr. Mustard

The Muse Is In

a small victory

Tongue Tied

Weird Is Good

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ABC

America's Worst Employed Writer

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Slate

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SPORTS:

BlackandGold.net: New Orleans Saints News and Talk

CollegeSports.com: Southern Miss

ESPN

GoldenEagles.net

New Orleans Saints Official Page

Saints Report

The Sporting News

Sports Illustrated

SouthernMiss.com: Official Athletics Page

MISCELLANEOUS CULTURE AND OTHER GREAT SITES:

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Arts & Letters Daily

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FreedomAds

Hip Smart

The Jim Daniels Show

Jim's Journal

McSweeney's

Real Ultimate Power

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